


Make the Yuletide Gay

by xlessxthanx3x



Series: In the beginning, there were lips [2]
Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Fingering, Gob is 21, M/M, Masturbation, Mistletoe, Pianist!Gob, Playing matchmaker, Riding, Tony is 25, at least eventually, bottom gob is as canon as piano gob btw, piano gob, piano gob is canon and you can't change my mind, sing us a song you're the piano gob, things are gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 16:24:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlessxthanx3x/pseuds/xlessxthanx3x
Summary: Gob and Tony might have slept together - and they mightstillbe sleeping together - but that doesn't mean they're dating. Right? Right. But when Gob invites Tony to spend Christmas with him, will that all finally change? Well, it will if Lindsay and Michael have any say in it.





	1. Once Bitten and Twice Shy

**Author's Note:**

> This takes directly after [Thrill Me, Chill Me, Fulfill Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485254). Like, directly after it. But all you need to know about it is that Tony, who's 25, was a shadow cast member of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ and Gob went to see him multiple weeks in a row, all of it culminating in them having sex on Gob's 21st birthday. 
> 
> Now you're up to speed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never, right? This chapter is more of a set up than anything, then we have the Christmas fluff and smut and random Blunder fun times!

**[Once Bitten and Twice Shy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI) **

It was pretty crazy that, on the midnight of his 21st birthday, Gob hadn’t hit the bars or clubs or anything expected of him. It was pretty crazy that he spent that midnight and the early hours of the morning in bed. It was pretty crazy that he really had no want or need to ever leave that bed.

Of course, that was because, instead of hitting the bars, he had wound up in Tony Wonder’s bed. Instead of staying up into the early hours of the morning drinking, he was having his third ( _third!_ ) orgasm of the night before finally falling asleep with his arms and legs wrapped around Tony. Instead of wanting to get up and spend the whole day legally drinking in public, Gob wanted to spend all day kissing and cuddling and nuzzling and maybe, you know, fucking around with Tony.

But, eventually, somehow, Gob managed to pull himself out of Tony’s bed—though they of course managed to have some fun before that—and out of his cozy apartment. Gob took a cab home wearing the pants he had brought to _Rocky Horror_ in case he got too scared wearing only the gold underwear he had chosen for his costume, but he still had no shirt. That made the cab driver give him a funny look.

Well, that was also probably because of the lipstick marks still visible on his torso.

He got home late enough that his dad was at work, his mom was out at the club doing whatever she did there (Gob had no clue what enjoyment she got out of it, seeing as she didn’t even golf or anything), and Buster must have been with her. Or maybe he was hiding; he was freakishly good at that. Whatever, the point was that anyone who would knock off his smile seemed to be gone.

At least he thought that until he saw his twin siblings sitting in the living room, both of them looking more twin-like than ever with matching grins as they greeted him.

“Happy birthday,” Michael said.

“Seems like you already had a good one,” Lindsay pointed out.

Gob felt a rush of panic run through him. “I…yeah. Yeah, it was good. Crazy night, you know,” Gob said quickly.

“Apparently.” Michael managed to look both judgmental and amused all at once as he looked at his brother. “Did you end up doing _Rocky_?”

“Yes,” Gob said shortly.

The three of them remained silent, the silence slowly growing slightly uncomfortable as they all started to realize there was something that maybe needed to be said. Or did it? Gob wasn’t sure; he sorta had a feeling Michael had to know about how he felt about Tony based off their brief conversation earlier in the week, but did Lindsay? Did he have to say something? _Could_ he say something? Like, okay, he knew he was really, _really_ gay, like the night before cemented that, so that wasn’t the issue, but saying those words out loud to Tony was one thing. Telling his family, even the siblings he was closest to? That seemed impossible. What if one of them slipped it out to his parents? Or to Buster, who would undoubtedly tell his parents? What if actually telling them made them hate him? What if Michael was just pretending to be cool with it being his “scene”?

After what seemed like several excruciating minutes, Gob finally said, “I’m gonna go shower.”

“Wait!” Gob turned back around and looked at Lindsay, already dreading whatever she was going to say. “Gob…you were with Tony last night, right?”

As Gob’s eyes widened, Michael said, “You know we won’t judge you if you were, right?”

"Right,” Lindsay said. “I mean, honestly, it kinda makes you actually cool.” Michael gave his twin a look and she said, “What? I’m just being honest.”

“…Why…wh-why would you think I was?” Gob said, self-consciously crossing his arms over his chest.

“You seem to like him,” Lindsay said. “Enough to go see the show four times this month. And talk to him every time.”

“And you seemed to want to hang out with him a lot.”

“ _And_ you have lipstick all over your chest,” Lindsay pointed out.

Gob looked down at his torso, noticing the marks for the first time. He actually blushed as he realized, making his siblings raise their eyebrows even higher. Gob didn’t _blush_. Ever.

“I…” Gob’s heart pounded in his chest as his brain did its best to think of something to say. Finally, he just snorted and, with an attempt at a cocky smirk, he said, “Girls wear lipstick, too, _Lindsay_. I thought you knew that.”

“Gob,” they both sighed.

Michael continued, “We’re really okay if you want to date Tony. You can have a boyfriend. And we won’t tell mom and dad.” Lindsay nodded in agreement, but that just caused a thought to hit Gob like a bus.

 _Were_ they boyfriends?

Gob looked down at his hand. Tony had written his number on it, seven digits that Gob had already memorized during the cab ride home. But that didn’t mean anything, right? They had sex and were probably going to again, but…but it wasn’t like that, was it?

“Tony’s just a friend,” Gob finally said. “I’m…I’m not…” He looked up at his brother and sister for a moment. Feeling his throat tighten in panic, he finally left the living room without another word.

* * *

Gob had never been more thankful for having his own bathroom than he was that day. He spent a long time in the shower, long enough that his fingers had pruned and spots of his body were red from the hot water’s spray. He had stayed long enough that he scrubbed off what remained of the red lipstick stains all over his chest and the number on his hand.

But Gob had that number memorized, he knew it would never leave his head, and, even with that confidence in his memory, he wrote it down before the shower. He just couldn’t have evidence of what had happened on his person. He couldn’t have people asking questions, he couldn’t have Lindsay and Michael smirking at him, he just _couldn’t_. He had enough to worry about.

Like, for example, when exactly was he supposed to call Tony back?

Gob had always been taught the three days rule for girls. After a date, you waited three days to call them back. That was standard for the beginning of a relationship. Michael always said that was stupid. Michael had called Tracey right away. But Michael was _Michael_ , what did _he_ know about dating? Anyways, once you were dating, you were expected to call them more or less right away, right? That’s what he did with Eve and Mary and all the other girls he had dated in the past.

But there was no way that he and Tony were dating. They hadn’t even _been_ on a date. Yeah, they had gone to that diner together, and Tony had drove him home and he had definitely been planning on kissing him, and that was kinda date like, but they weren’t _alone_ at that restaurant and if it _was_ a date, that was only _one_ date, so that didn’t make them boyfriends and maybe the rules were different with guys so maybe he had to wait longer to call—

Gob’s head was spinning.

He sat down heavily on his bed and looked at his phone. Those seven digits played in his mind repeatedly, fitting better to a melody better than that other song’s numbers ever did. Gob stared at the phone; it had to be too soon, right? Too soon. Too soon. _Too soon_.

His hand reached out for the receiver and, once he was sure no one else was on the line, he quickly dialed in the number and held his breath as it started to ring.

“Hello?”

Gob’s whole body relaxed as he heard Tony’s voice.

“Hi,” Gob said breathlessly, his voice sounding higher even to him. “It’s Gob.”

“Oh, hey,” Tony said, actually sounding happy to hear him. “Long time since we've talked, huh?”

They both laughed and Gob laid down on his stomach. “Yeah, right,” he said, his head finally calming down. “I just wanted to make sure I had the right number. And, you know, make sure you had mine.”

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I’m glad you called.”

“…Really?” Gob asked hopefully.

“Yeah, really,” Tony said. Gob grinned so widely he wasn’t sure he could even move his lips to talk. “So, I assume you have some sort of birthday celebration tonight, right? Drinks with friends? Maybe a dinner with your family?”

After a moment, Gob managed to move his lips again. “Not really.”

“Are you waiting until tomorrow?”

“Well, I’ve been going to bars and stuff since I was, like, sixteen without a problem, so I don’t really see the big deal,” Gob said. Pausing for a moment, he then added, “My parents don’t really celebrate any of our birthdays. I don’t even think they remember when ours are. One time they tried to celebrate Lindsay’s birthday on a different day than Michael’s, which doesn’t make sense since they’re twins.”

“They’re twins?” Tony asked. “Huh. Never would’ve guessed.” Gob shrugged, even though Tony couldn’t see it. There was a small pause before Tony asked, “What about presents?”

“We all kinda just buy things when we want them?” Gob said, honestly confused about the question. “We do Christmas presents and, I mean, I guess I got a car once I got my license, but that was just because it cost a lot. We have a limit of, like, 5k on our cards, so it’s not like I could buy a new car on _that_.” He laughed at the mere idea of a car costing that little.

Tony laughed a little himself. “You’re really more of a spoiled rich kid than I thought,” he said. Gob was sure that wasn’t a good thing, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. “Well, I _was_ going to suggest I could buy you a drink tonight to celebrate, but now I’m thinking maybe _you_ should do the buying.”

Gob perked up a little. “Really? Like, you mean you want to…hang out?”

Again, Tony said, “Yeah, really. I think we’ve had some fun every time we've hung out, and if we repeat some of last night’s fun, well…” Tony trailed off and Gob grinned. “But I’ll actually buy you at least one drink. It’s your birthday, after all.” Gob agreed and they quickly picked a time and place to meet.

“I’ll see you then,” Tony said.

“Wait,” Gob said suddenly, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tony replied.

Gob bit his lips as he tried to get himself to say what he needed to say. “ _Is this a date? Is this a date? Is this a date?"_ his brain screamed.

“Is this…” Gob chickened out and continued, “…a gay bar?”

Tony laughed, but not unkindly. “A gay bar during Halloween weekend for your first legal bar outing? They’d eat you alive. No, not a gay bar. But I’ll take you to one sometime.”

They hung up soon after that, Gob’s head still full of questions even if he felt more excited than ever for his birthday celebration.

* * *

Much like one month of going to midnight showings of _Rocky Horror_ turned Gob from a clueless virgin to an experienced participant, one month of meeting up with Tony turned Gob from a clueless virgin when it came to men to, well, an experienced participant. Gob was always a quick learner when it came to sex, so it wasn’t that surprising.

The more surprising part was learning what he liked to do. He still struggled with figuring out exactly how to wrap his mouth around Tony, but he really loved feeling how heavy he was on his tongue. He already knew he loved getting blow jobs, too, but he never expected how much he enjoyed feeling Tony’s tongue (not to mention the rough hairs from the beard he was growing) in between his cheeks. And, most surprising to himself, he didn’t expect to definitely prefer bottoming to topping. He figured after years of doing the same thing to girls he’d like topping more, that his first time with Tony was just some fluke because he was, you know, swept away by everything, by being with a guy for the first time, by finally fucking the guy he had been crushing on for a month. But, nope, after Tony humored Gob by letting him top once, Gob realized he preferred it the other way a lot more. Like, a _lot_ more.

Tony wasn’t at all surprised about that part. “I kinda knew you were a bottom from the moment I laid eyes on you.” Gob wasn’t sure how to feel about that until Tony added, “It’d be a shame for that ass _not_ to be fucked.”

A comment like that probably shouldn’t have made Gob feel all giddy and cause him to grin like an idiot, but, well, Tony managed to do that to him a lot.

Tony managed to make him do a _lot_ of things, though. Things Gob never expected. He never expected to bend over a table. He never expected to actually willingly ride someone—even with girls he always preferred being able to lie down, but when Tony asked, how could he say no? He never expected to have a sore throat some nights from basically screaming.

Really, the volume issue was almost as much of a surprise as the bottom thing. Gob wasn’t exactly _silent_ before, but he definitely wasn’t at risk of being heard through walls before. The first night Tony’s roommate was home at the same time Tony was with Gob, he ended up banging on the door to tell Tony to “shut up that fucking twink” so he could sleep.

The solution that time was Tony pressing his hand to Gob’s mouth, but they came up with other solutions over time. The solutions always involved keeping Gob’s mouth occupied, normally by sucking anything. They used everything from underwear to ties to the gag Tony had to Tony’s fingers, things that kept him full on both ends which just made him want to moan louder, something Tony loved pointing out to him, something that made Tony call him a slut, something that made Gob blush and come even faster.

Of course, Tony said those sorts of things during sex, but he was always very sweet afterwards. He would tell Gob how good he was, he’d give him lots of little kisses, and he always let Gob cling onto him in a way that made it much easier for Gob to fall asleep.

And Tony, god, he was just so  _smart_. He taught Gob so much, and not just sex things. He taught him about gay things in general. He taught Gob the term "bisexual", which Tony said he was, but Gob was pretty sure he was just gay. He taught Gob how gay clubs worked, and he kept his promise by taking him to one. He taught him terms and what the letters in the acronym stood for and things Gob had never thought of, all things he learned as being part of his culture now. Gay culture. He loved learning it all.

On top of that, Tony was just a cool guy. Tony made Gob laugh, he made him feel good about himself, and he made him feel like a better person. He didn't make Gob feel dumb or like he was a huge mistake. He just made him  _happy_.

Gob had never expected anything like this. He definitely never expected anything like this to come from seeing _Rocky Horror_. And he _definitely_ never expected to have to wonder if it all meant that Tony was his boyfriend or not. He knew the logical thing would be to just _ask_ Tony if they were, but, well, Gob wasn’t good at being logical.

Besides, he liked doing other things with his mouth when he was with Tony.

* * *

As soon as December started, Gob was in the Christmas spirit. He always loved Christmas, which was probably odd to most people. As a massive partier who was born on the first of November, Halloween seemed like the holiday meant for him; besides, Christmas was always about family togetherness and cheesy stuff that the Bluth family never represented. But, nope, as much as Gob liked Halloween, he _loved_ Christmas. He loved the chocolate, he loved the decorations, and, as gay as it sounded, he loved the _spirit_.

Oh, wait, he was allowed to be as gay as he wanted now!

…Except, well, no, not really. Not when Michael and Lindsay had those matching knowing looks whenever he came home, especially that time he had a large hickey on his neck. He couldn’t be as gay as he wanted at home. It was why he was trying to finally move out, it was why he was working as many jobs with the Hot Cops as he could—it also helped that he was finally 21 so he could work the bar gigs he couldn’t before—and it was part of why he was spending as much time with Tony as he could. Besides the whole sex part of it, obviously.

But, despite his excitement, Gob somehow managed to hold off on bringing up the subject of Christmas with Tony until about a week into the month.

“So, do you do anything for Christmas?” Gob asked during breakfast. “Or do you just celebrate Hanukkah?” He was pretty proud of himself for remembering that Tony was Jewish.

“My family put up a tree one year, but that was a disaster. We can barely fit in our living room as is with how many of us there are,” Tony said with a small laugh. “Sadly, I won’t be there for Hanukkah, since it’s early this year, but I get to eat Chinese food with them on Christmas, which is our biggest tradition.”

“You’re going back over the break?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, just for a few days. I figured I might as well since I didn’t get in the line-up for any of the Christmas magic shows and I have time off at my day job.” Gob nodded, already bummed at the idea of not seeing Tony at all during the holidays. “What about you? Do you have anything special planned?”

Unable to contain his enthusiasm, Gob explained, “Christmas is my favorite holiday. Like, beyond favorite. We’re not really doing anything different this year, but I always get excited for it.”

“Yeah?” Tony smiled at Gob’s infectious smile. “What sort of stuff do you do?”

“Well, we have this really lame thing we go to called the Living Classics Pageant? I don’t know, people pretend to be famous paintings, and my dad and my baby brother are always that painting of God pointing or whatever?” Gob shook his head and continued, “That’s not the important part, though. That’s just the dumb thing we have to sit through. But we get our gardener to decorate the outside of the house with lights and our maid and her family puts up our tree—it’s fake, but apparently some people get real trees, did you know that?”

Tony laughed quietly, but not in a mean way. “I did know that, yes.”

“Crazy, right? But I bet it smells nice. We always use, like, candles and stuff to make it smell like pine needles. It’s nice. My mom always decorates the tree and makes it look really nice, like it’s out of a magazine or something.” As much as he and his mother didn’t get along most of the time, they always seemed to be eye-to-eye on everything Christmas related. “We play a lot of music, especially on the days leading up to Christmas, and my mom always makes us watch _White Christmas_ at some point. Buster, my baby brother, loves the Claymation stuff, so we do a lot with that, too. And, since we don’t really do birthdays, we go all out on Christmas gifts. And we have a big meal on Christmas Eve after the pageant, because Rosa—that’s our maid—doesn’t work on Christmas Day, so we can’t have a big meal then, because none of us can really cook. She normally makes us something simple we can reheat and sometimes cookies for the next day, too. Our family doesn’t really get along all the time, but, I don’t know, we all seem to actually like each other at Christmas.” Gob sighed quietly, barely even realizing he had said something fairly serious and emotional.

After a beat, he ruined that moment to add, “Oh, and we drink. A _lot_. Like, more than usual, which is saying something. The first time I got drunk was at Christmas when I was…twelve, maybe?” Gob laughed and, as if it was totally normal, added, “I was a  _total_ lightweight then, though. It only took me, like, four drinks to get completely shit-faced. How embarrassing.”

Thankfully, Tony had gotten used to non-sequiturs like that about Gob’s family, so he wasn’t too shocked or anything. At first, he had wondered how much of it was true, but Gob was always so genuine about those things that he couldn’t imagine that he was making any of it up.

Anyways, Tony smiled and put his hand on Gob’s knee. “That sounds like a great time. You’ll have to tell me how it goes this year when I get back.” He pressed a kiss to Gob’s cheek before standing up and taking their plates to the kitchen to put in the dishwasher.

Gob watched him go and opened his mouth, intending to ask the whole boyfriend question. But the moment had seemed so nice and weirdly sweet and domestic that Gob decided against ruining it with any questions.

* * *

"So, where are you going tonight?" Lindsay asked Gob.

"Out," Gob said, adjusting the buttons on his shirt.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. " _Duh_. But where are you going? Is there some party going on?"

"I don't know," Gob said honestly.

"Come on! Tell me who's hosting it! It's not Sarah, is it? She never invites me to her parties, that  _bitch_." Lindsay blew hair out of her face and crossed her arms. But then she noticed the look on Gob's face and how he clearly wasn't paying attention. "Wait, are you seriously not going to a party?" 

"Nope."

"Where are you going, then?" Lindsay asked. Gob didn't say anything and Lindsay's eyes widened. "Are you hanging out with Tony  _again_? That's, like, the sixth weekend in a row!"

"He's a cool dude and a good friend," Gob said as nonchalantly as possible. "We have fun together."

Lindsay snorted. "Yeah, so much fun you come back home the next day walking funny." Gob gave her a glare and grabbed his keys. "Wait! Gob, I was just kidding!" Gob, however, left without so much as a backwards glance at his sister.

* * *

The next time Gob saw Tony, he had gotten a bottle of champagne.

Well, Gob pointed out that it wasn’t really champagne since it wasn’t from _Champagne_ , therefore it was just sparkling wine. His parents had taught him a lot about alcohol, after all, but Tony just told him to pop the cork.

“What are we celebrating?” Gob asked as he started to work on the bottle.

Tony grinned and told him, “The Magnificent Kevin dropped out of the Christmas Eve Spectacular, so guess who got added to the line-up?”

A loud _pop_ echoed through Tony’s apartment as Gob managed to successfully open the bottle of wine. “What? That’s great!” And Gob meant that, even if he felt a hint of jealousy at his ~~boy~~ friend getting such a high-profile gig before him. 

“Thanks!” Tony said proudly as he got out the wine glasses.

“You don’t have champagne flutes?” Gob asked automatically at the sight of the wine glasses. Tony muttered something like _spoiled rich boy_ , and Gob took that as a sign to shut up and just pour the wine.

“Wait, weren’t you going home over Christmas? Are you going to fly out after?” Gob asked once the glasses were poured.

Tony frowned. “Yeah, I had to cancel the trip. It sucks; I was really looking forward to it, but I have to put my career first in this case.” Gob nodded and Tony added, “But, hey, it means I get to see your Hot Cops show. That’s the day before, right?”

Gob nodded, though he felt a small bit of anxiety boil in his stomach. Tony still hadn’t seen him strip—well, professionally, at least, seeing as Gob ended up stripping off all his clothes every time they were alone. He’d have to make sure he did an extra good job so he could impress him.

“Awesome,” Tony said. He smirked and told Gob, “I’ll have a motel room nearby; maybe we can do a private showing after.”

The idea made Gob smirk back, until the words finally registered in his head. “Why would you have a motel room? We can just do that here.”

“My roommate’s having some guests over for Christmas,” Tony said. “I had already promised he could use my room since I thought I’d be gone, so now I’m out of a room.” He frowned at the idea. “God, a motel during Christmas? It’s gonna be super depressing. I can’t imagine all the sad sacks who’ll be there.”

Gob frowned at the idea, too. He didn’t like the idea of Tony being alone on the holiday, and he definitely didn’t like the idea of him having to stay at some cheap motel in general.

“You should stay at my place,” Gob said, the words seeming to leave his mouth before he had even thought them.

Tony looked at him strangely. “What?”

Did he really just offer that? Yes, he did. Did he really want Tony to spend Christmas with him? Gob nodded to himself; yeah, he really did. “You should stay at my place,” Gob said. Tony still looked at him like he was crazy, and Gob insisted, “No, really, you should! You shouldn’t be alone on Christmas, and you should save your money.”

“It’s fine, Gob. I don’t even celebrate it.”

“But, like you said, being in some cheap motel on Christmas is gonna be super depressing,” Gob pointed out. “And now I can show you how great Christmas can be. You can celebrate it, too.”

“You’re not trying to convert me, are you?” Tony asked, mostly teasing.

“My family’s hardly religious,” Gob said with a snort. “You can drink with us and watch our dumb specials. If my Uncle Oscar comes, we can get really fucking high, too.”

Tony looked thoughtful. “But what about your parents? They still don’t know about you being gay, right?”

“No, so that makes it even better,” Gob said. “You can hang out in my room and they won’t suspect a thing.”

“Well, if you can keep it down for once,” Tony smirked. Gob blushed (which Tony always found super cute) and ducked his head a little at that. Tony had to admit he enjoyed watching Gob squirm at that.

He also had to admit the idea of spending the holiday season in that big house Gob lived in sounded much better than spending it in some crappy motel by himself.

After a moment, Tony smiled. “Okay. If your parents actually approve it, then sure. I’d love to spend the holidays with you.” He lifted up his wine glass and Gob clinked his glass against it. As the two of them sipped at the wine, Gob smiled, already giddy about spending his favorite day with his…his _friend_ (?).

* * *

Gob, never one for delicately bringing up subjects, flat out asked if he could have a friend stay over for a few days over Christmas. Admittedly, he should’ve at least waited until they weren’t having an attempt at a family dinner, but it was too late for that now.

His dad continued to cut his steak, since he never really cared enough about the holiday to have any opinion on it. Lucille was the one who would really need to approve of the idea.

Lucille looked at her son with slightly narrowed eyes. “Why? Do they not have their own family to stay with?”

“Well, he’s Jewish, so he doesn’t celebrate it,” Gob said. “He was supposed to go see his family in New York, but he got a gig for Christmas Eve and his roommate has guests coming who need to use his room, so it’s either this or he stays at a motel by himself.” Knowing that his mom was surprisingly more like a Who than a Grinch, Gob added, “I didn’t want him to spend Christmas by himself.”

That sentence made his mom’s pursed lips relax, almost enough to smile sympathetically. “What kind of gig?”

Gob hesitated before admitting, “At the Gothic Castle. He’s a magician.”

His mom’s lips pursed again and Gob’s heart sank. He should’ve lied; he _knew_ his parents, especially his mom, hated the whole magic thing.

“I’m not letting any of your magician friends in my guest room; those curtains are new and I don’t want them near open flame,” Lucille said, Gob’s heart sinking even more. But, much to his surprise, his mom ended up saying, “So, if he’s okay sharing your room, then I’ll allow it.”

Gob nearly jumped out of his chair, but, instead, his face just split into a wide grin and he agreed. “Yeah, yeah, that’ll be fine.” After a second, he remembered to add, “Thanks, mom.”

Lucille nodded and George asked, “What’s this kid’s name?”

“Tony,” Gob said, not thinking anything of it until he heard Michael’s silverware fall on his plate in shock and Lindsay choke on her water mid-drink. Gob froze; oh, shit, were they going to blow his cover?

“Do you know this guy?” George asked Michael and Lindsay.

Lindsay and Michael looked at each other and then at their petrified brother. “…Yeah,” Lindsay finally said. “Yeah, we met him at a thing with Gob.”

“A show. A show Gob took us to,” Michael said.

“Yeah, a magic show,” Lindsay agreed.

“Right, yeah. We just didn’t realize that’s who he meant.”

“Or that he was a magician.”

George looked suspicious. “You met him at a magic show and didn’t know he was a magician?”

“He wasn’t performing in it,” Michael said. "I thought he was just a fan."

Gob finally moved again and nodded. “Yeah, this is his first big act.” That seemed to satisfy his dad, since he dropped his suspicious look and went back to eating. That was a close one.

Gob nervously took a sip of water and avoided his siblings’ eyes. He started to go back to eating himself when, with his fork halfway to his mouth, what his mom had said finally registered.

Tony was going to be sleeping. _In. His. Room._

Gob lowered his utensils and excused himself, suddenly both too excited and nervous to eat anything else.

* * *

While in the middle of cleaning his room, Gob heard a knock on his door. Not looking up from all the clothes he was throwing in his hamper, he told whoever it was to come in. When he heard the door close again, he turned around and felt a small wave of panic as he saw his twin siblings standing there looking perfectly calm.

Eventually Gob mumbled, “Thanks for not telling mom and dad how you met Tony.”

They both nodded at him. “You’re welcome.”

“I don’t particularly want dad to know I went to _Rocky Horror_ anyways,” Michael said as Gob went back to throwing clothes into his hamper for Rosa to clean.

“But we _were_ just talking about how it’s pretty unfair that you get to have your boyfriend stay in your _room_ just because mom and dad don’t know that you’re gay,” Lindsay said, making Gob freeze.

Gob scoffed as best as he could, his usual bluster not nearly as strong as usual. “I…I’m not…he—he’s not my _boyfriend_ , I’m _not_ g—” Gob cut himself off as he looked over his shoulder at his siblings’ faces. He really was unable to kid himself anymore when his siblings were looking at him like that.

He turned back around, not wanting to look at them. He quietly admitted, “…Yeah, okay. I’m…yeah, I'm gay.”

“Duh,” Lindsay said. Michael gave her a look; she could at least be _slightly_ more tactful. But, yeah, okay, he was thinking the exact same thing.

“But he’s _not_ my boyfriend,” Gob said quietly but firmly. “We haven’t…we’ve done…we’re _not_ dating.” Gob continued throwing things into his hamper and he said, “I mean, we’ve been hanging out a lot, and we’ve definitely… _done_ some things. _Lots_ of things. Lots of _fun_ things, if you know what I mean.” He smirked to himself, ignoring Michael’s noise of discomfort. “But we’re _not_ dating. We’re just friends.”

Finally admitting that out loud made him stop moving as a sinking feeling of disappointment sunk in his stomach.

Lindsay and Michael looked at each other and then at their brother, their brother who had finally stopped moving. “You’re really not dating?” Michael asked incredulously. “You’ve been out with him, like, _every_ night.”

“Yeah. And not getting back until the next morning,” Lindsay said with a small snort.

“And now you’re spending the holidays together? He’s going to meet our parents? That sounds like dating to me,” Michael said.

Gob rolled his eyes to himself and shook his head. “Well, we’re not dating and that’s that.”

Michael started to say something else and Gob just put up his hand. “Drop it, okay?” Gob turned to look at them and said, “Now get out of my room so I can clean.” When they didn’t move, Gob angrily added, “Get out _now_!”

Not wanting to deal with an angry Gob, the two decided to leave, closing the door behind them.

* * *

As the day Tony was coming over got closer, Gob got more and more built up. He was constantly cleaning his room instead of just letting Rosa do the work. He was straightening up posters, cleaning up after his magic tricks, and even asking Lindsay for some fashion advice by asking how certain outfits looked. And, yeah, Lindsay liked that he finally listened to her telling him how tacky his outfits were, even if he ended up storming out of her room a few times in a huff.

Eventually, Lindsay pulled Michael into her room to talk about the whole _thing_.

“Okay, so Gob’s _totally_ interested in Tony,” Lindsay said as soon as the door closed. “Like, he _wants_ to be dating him, right? We know this.”

“How do you know that? He seemed insistent that they weren’t dating,” Michael pointed out.

Lindsay rolled her eyes and explained, “Come on, he’s _totally_ interested. He was upset admitting they weren’t dating, because it’s a sensitive subject because he _wants_ to be dating him.” Michael still looked confused and Lindsay sighed exasperatedly. “God, you are _such_ a boy!”

“So’s _Gob_!” Michael said.

“I know,” Lindsay said, “I’m a girl, so I can tell how people are feeling, okay? Besides, he’s being _really_ obvious about it.”

“Obvious or not, there’s nothing we can do about that,” Michael said.

“Michael, Tony’s going to be in our house and he’s going to be in Gob’s room, and they’ll already doing…God knows _what_ in their room.” They both wrinkled their noses at the thought of their brother’s sex life, and Lindsay shook her head. “So, we can help them get together.”

Michael looked at Lindsay in disbelief. After he finally gathered his thoughts, he said, “Lindsay, this isn’t a movie. And for all we know, Tony’s not even interested in him.”

“Of _course_ he is. He kept flirting with Gob at every show and he’s _also_ meeting up with Gob for all of these things. They spent his birthday together and he agreed to spend _Christmas_ with him?” Before Michael could try to say anything else, Lindsay rolled her eyes and said, “Have you gotten him a Christmas gift yet? Because if you haven’t, getting a boyfriend for him would _totally_ be the best thing you could get him.”

Michael asked, “And how would we even do this?”

“It’s easy. All we need is some alcohol, some Christmas magic, and do all we can to talk about how great Gob is.” With a thoughtful look, she added, “Oh, and we’ll have to get some mistletoe, too.”  

After a moment, Michael sighed and agreed, “Fine. I guess we’ll go ahead and make the Yuletide gay.”


	2. Hang Ten, Rudolph and Prancer!

[**Hang Ten, Rudolph and Prancer!**  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5TKHsqmsu0)

“ _Jesus_ , your place is huge,” Tony said as he walked inside the grand entrance.

Gob watched Tony’s wide eyes with a smile as he looked around. He liked impressing people, even if it wasn’t really _his_ house or whatever. “Yeah, it’s nice, right?”

“I mean, I know I’ve dropped you off here before, but it didn’t look so big from the outside. Or at least in the dark,” Tony said.

Tony swore again and Gob asked, “Want the grand tour?”

“I’m pretty sure nothing could be less than grand in this place,” Tony muttered.

Gob showed Tony around excitedly. There was the living room, which mainly was used to host the piano and the Christmas tree which was surrounded with several beautifully wrapped presents. There was the great room where they had the large TV and lots of available sitting. He showed him the dining room with all the china, the kitchen, and then he led them upstairs.

“So, my parents are down there, Buster’s room is the closest to theirs…then there’s Lindsay’s room, Michael’s, the guest room…” Gob walked them down the hall until he reached his room. He opened the door and said, “Aaaand, here’s my room.” Gob let Tony in first and then followed in, closing the door behind them.

Gob nervously watched as Tony looked around his room. Gob’s room had always been… _different_ than the rest of the house. His mom had always wanted each room to be stylish and sophisticated, especially since she planned on eventually selling the house once all the kids left the nest, but “sophisticated” definitely didn’t describe Gob’s tastes.

It definitely didn’t describe his room, either. He had damaged the curtains on accident while trying to perform a fire trick, so half of one was burnt off. He had bits of magic tricks all over his room: multiple decks of cards, a few wands, and lots of books about the subject covered the corners of his room, though he tried his best to make it neat. Gob had bought himself a king-sized bed years back, so that took up the bulk of the space, and it was covered with sheets of a simple pattern but a high thread count.

But the real big difference between his room and the rest of the house were all the decorations. He always had strings of lights around his room, just simple white lights that he liked to look at when he was feeling sad. He thought they were cool. Gob also hung up a few album covers, things like his vinyl of Queen’s _A Night at the Opera_ and Springsteen’s _Born to Run_. And, of course, there were a ton of posters. He had a Freddie Mercury poster, a few posters from movies he loved, and various magazine clippings he put up, some magic related, some not. It was all stuff he liked, and it was all stuff that made Lucille roll her eyes and comment on how tacky it was.

Gob didn’t really care what his mother thought. He _did_ , however, care what _Tony_ thought.

“Sweet room,” Tony finally said.

“Really?” Gob asked, smiling brightly at Tony’s nod.

“It’s totally… _you_ ,” Tony observed. He laughed and pointed towards the _Top Gun_ poster. “I can’t believe you have that up and your parents still don’t know you’re gay.”

“What? What’s gay about _Top Gun_?”

Tony raised his eyebrows at Gob. “The whole movie? And, god, the volleyball scene?”

“… _Oh_ ,” Gob said, finally connecting the dots. It really _was_ gay, wasn’t it? “Wow…no wonder I like it so much.”

“But, seriously this is a really cool room.” Tony put his bag down on the cot someone—probably their maid, Rosa—had put in the room and Gob sat down on his own bed.

“You know…you don’t have to sleep on that if you don’t want to,” Gob said suggestively. “There’s enough room on here for two of us.”

Tony turned towards him and grinned. “Well, I figured, but I didn’t want to assume.” He looked towards the closed door then back over at Gob. “Where’s your family? I figured they’d all be here.”

Gob shrugged. “Mom normally goes to the club during the day, and Buster’s probably with her. Dad would be at work, and I assume Michael’s at the banana stand. And Lindsay’s probably out shopping or something.”

“…So, we have the whole place to ourselves?” Tony asked a smirk forming on his face.

Smirking back, Gob nodded. “I kinda hoped we could christen my bed. Like, gay christen it, since I’ve had sex in it before—or is it a bar mitzvah because you’re Jewish?”

With a good-natured laugh, Tony told Gob, “I think ‘christen’ is the right term, don’t worry.” He looked back over at Gob’s door and asked, "Does that door lock?"

"Yep."

Just like that, Tony went over to quickly lock it. Gob automatically started to take off his shoes, Tony doing the same thing as he made his way back over to Gob’s bed.

Once they were both on Gob's bed, their clothes soon ended up flung to one place or another. Neither of them really particularly cared where they went as long as they were out of the way. Their lips came clashing together as soon as their shirts were off, and the two of them helped the other get their pants off next.

It was kind of insane how much passion they still had for each other. Well, Gob thought it was weird at least, seeing as he'd always get himself excited to sleep with girls for the first time and then have to work himself up to do it every time after that. He figured it made sense now that he knew the gay thing and all of that, but still, it was weird to crave someone so much especially after two months. In some ways, Gob thought he actually  _craved_ Tony  _more_ now after all their time together. It was why he was always so willing to do whatever Tony wanted; it also helped that Gob, very surprisingly to himself,  _loved_ being bossed around. 

That was why when Tony asked how he wanted to christen the bed as he slipped off Gob's underwear, Gob said, "However you want it." He also loved seeing that smirk Tony sported whenever he said something like that.

"You love when I do whatever I want to you, don't you?" Tony said in a low voice. Gob nodded and Tony smirked even more. "Good. Because I love doing whatever I want to you, too."

With that, Tony pushed Gob onto his back and asked where the lube and condoms were. Gob reached over to his bedside drawer to pull out the new collection he got for Tony's visit and Tony laughed. "We have a lot of condoms to get through, huh?" Gob nodded eagerly, making Tony laugh in that way that just made him more excited. Then Tony crawled over him, and Gob had a good idea of where they were going.

This was how they usually did things and, again, Gob found it weird that he  _liked_ doing "the usual" with  _anyone_ , but Tony did it so good that Gob didn't mind. And, honestly, Gob always liked laying down on his back when he could and he liked it even more when he could look at Tony, when Tony could do his best to bend him in half, to fuck him hard and lean over to whisper dirty things in his ear…

Gob was already hard just thinking about it, his legs automatically spreading for what he knew was coming.

"Already spreading your legs?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. "Someone really wants it bad, huh?"

"Yes," Gob said. He still blushed when he said stuff like that, but he had learned that he couldn't deny how much he wanted Tony to do whatever he wanted to him.

"Good," Tony said, running his fingers down the side of Gob's cheek all the way down to his neck, a spot he knew by now was super sensitive. He smiled as Gob shivered at the contact, lingering there for a moment.

Tony slowly pulled away before quickly opening the bottle of lube and moving in between Gob's legs. "Gonna go quick and fast and hard," Tony said, swiftly lubing up his fingers. As he rubbed his fingers together to warm the lubricant, his other hand wrapped around Gob's cock and gave is a gentle stroke. "Tell me if it's too much, okay?" Tony whispered, breaking the more dominant role he usually wore to look Gob in the eye seriously. Gob nodded to make it clear he understood and Tony nodded back before, with no verbal warning, bringing his lubed up finger to Gob's hole and pressing in, sliding in with one fluid movement.

Gob hissed quietly at first, still not expecting the stretch, but he quickly squeezed around the finger to make it clear he was fine—and because he loved making Tony moan from that.

Hey, he liked teasing Tony a bit, too.

Tony thrust his finger out a few times before, again without warning, pulling all the way out and skipping straight to pushing three fingers inside of Gob. That time Gob actually yelped a little and Tony paused before Gob said, "N-no, keep going." Tony looked up at him doubtfully and Gob insisted, "I like it. Please?" Tony kept his eyes on Gob's face as he carefully pushed his fingers in as far as possible. Gob's eyes were closed, but his back was slightly arched and his cock was still hard against his stomach. Tony spread his fingers just a little bit and Gob moaned and rolled his hips a little. Yeah, he  _definitely_ wasn't lying about liking it.

"Already taking in three fingers," Tony said, his free hand running over Gob's hip. "You're such a size queen. Maybe we should try all five one day, huh? What do you think?" Gob whined and rolled his hips again, shivering at the chuckle that left Tony's mouth. "Yeah, I figured you'd love that. But we have other things to do right now."

Gob opened his eyes to look back at Tony. "Bend your legs," Tony said. Gob immediately followed the instructions, his teeth digging into his lip as Tony started to move his fingers as far apart as possible, quickly stretching him as much as possible. With practiced precision, he curled them in a way that drove Gob crazy before he found that spot that made Gob cry out as his back arched. Out of habit more than anything, Tony brought his free hand to Gob's mouth to cover it.

"Are you sure no one's home?" Tony asked. "Are you sure no one's here to hear me fuck you?" He curled his fingers to tease over Gob's prostate more, Gob whining helplessly into Tony's hand. "Or maybe you want people to hear? Do you want everyone to know what a slut you are?" He seemed to press impossibly deeper inside of Gob, almost overwhelming him.

Tony removed his hand and Gob shook his head. "N-no, they're all gone, I saw them leave, I— _please_ —" Gob cut himself off with a loud moan, his back arching as Tony pulled his fingers almost completely out before thrusting back in as hard as possible.

"Good," Tony said, smirking. "I love hearing you moan for me. You sound so pretty when you moan like that." 

He quickly pulled his fingers out, chuckling at Gob's helpless whine before opening a condom wrapper with his teeth. Gob always thought that was so hot, and he kept his eyes trained on the condom Tony rolled over his cock as he licked his lips…he brought one of his hands down to brush over his cock, his fingers tracing down over his balls and to his rim. He pressed in lightly with his finger, just pressing the tip in, his lips gasping as he felt just how stretched he was as he absent-mindedly pressed in just a bit more—

"God, can't even wait a few seconds for me to lube up, huh?" Tony asked. Gob blushed and pulled his finger out as Tony finished lubing up his cock. "You're so fucking  _desperate_ for it, aren't you?" Tony leaned over Gob, the head of his cock teasing the sensitive muscles of Gob's rim as he grinned down at him. "Aren't you?"

Tony kept teasing and Gob just couldn't fucking take it, he  _couldn't_. "Yes,  _please_ , I need you— _fuck me_ , please, _please_ ," Gob begged. Tony was the only person who ever got him to beg so easily.

"Good," Tony said firmly. "Because I'm kinda desperate, too," he admitted before smoothly pressing inside of Gob, only stopping when he was literally balls deep inside of him.

He paused for a moment as they both got used to the sensation. Then Tony grabbed Gob's bent legs and wrapped them around his hips. Gob held them there as Tony put his a hand next to Gob on either side of his shoulders. With just a look in warning, Tony pulled out almost all the way before slamming back inside of Gob. He repeated the motion, quickly gathering speed in the process. Normally, on Tony's bed, the bedsprings would already be creaking, but Gob's were a lot quieter; however, the motion and force of Tony's thrusts definitely made the headboard bang against the wall. 

As Tony thoroughly fucked him, Gob moaned loudly and gripped his legs tighter around Tony, trying to somehow get him deeper inside of him, wanting to feel every part of him, wanting to feel him for  _days_.Tony seemed to be working too hard already to fuck Gob to do as much dirty talk as he'd normally do, which was fine, since Gob wasn't sure what words were at the moment. He couldn't even form the words to tell Tony how good it felt; he barely managed to remember how his hands work to grab Tony's head and pull him down for a sloppy kiss, both of them already too worked up to have any finesse. 

Gob arched his back slightly, his hips and legs adjusting with the motion, and he let out a loud moan as his head fell back. That movement got Tony at just the right angle, and Tony grinned as he started to drive hard against that spot. "Right there?" Tony asked through a pant. Gob, still unable to form words, nodded helplessly and brought his hands to Tony's shoulders. His nails dug into Tony's skin as the smaller man started to pound into him at that angle with all of his might, the sting from Gob's fingernails causing Tony to moan in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

It didn't take long after that for Gob to feel that coil in his stomach. "I— _Tony_ , fuck—" Gob couldn't think of words besides those, but it was okay, since Tony seemed to know what was happening.

"Come on, baby. Come for me. Wanna hear you scream," Tony said, one hand snaking in between them to wrap around Gob's cock.

Tony had barely touched it before Gob was doing exactly what he said, his back arching more as he screamed in release, his come landing all over his stomach and Tony's hand and a few drops reaching his chest. It didn't take much longer for Tony's hips to stutter against Gob as he came with a moan of his own.

Tony stayed inside of Gob for a few moments, but he barely pulled out before Gob brought his come-covered hand to his mouth. Tony's cock was completely spent, but it still twitched as Gob brought his fingers to his mouth and eagerly sucked them in. He licked and sucked enthusiastically over Tony's fingers, licking up every trace of come he could find, moaning and humming around Tony's digits in the process. 

" _Fuck_ ," Tony groaned. "Yeah, lick it all up, babe." He loved that he didn't even have to ask Gob to do that anymore, that Gob just automatically chose to do that himself. It was like a practice blow job, and, well, Tony  _did_ love how Gob liked to keep his mouth occupied.

He also loved how Gob would blush when he realized that he did that without being told, how he let himself get caught up in the moment so easily. He loved seeing someone like Gob, someone who normally had such a brash and stubborn exterior, completely melted with him. 

Tony wiped off Gob's saliva on his thigh and quickly took off the condom and threw it out. He crawled up next to Gob and wrapped an arm around him, something that had become a signal for Gob to wrap his arms around him in return. As usual, Gob brought his head over to Tony's chest and Tony pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"That was so hot," Tony said, still panting just a little. "You were so hot, so  _good_." Gob made a small sound in the back of his throat at the praise, smiling as he nuzzled against Tony's chest. "We thoroughly christened this bed." Gob nodded in agreement.

Elsewhere in the house, neither of them aware, Michael, who had gotten home minutes earlier, finally took his hands off his ears and relaxed as he realized whatever his brother had been doing was over now. 

And he had heard that from the other side of the  _house_ ; he was terrified of what he was going to hear when he was in the room right next to Gob's.

* * *

Tony’s first experience with meeting Gob’s parents and Buster wasn’t anything special. After all, they had no idea that he was anything past a friend to Gob, so they just gave him mostly polite _hello_ s and George shook his hand, but that was that. Nothing to worry about. He knew Gob was worried that he’d end up insulted by something his parents said or did, but Tony was prepared to take everything with a grain of salt.

Really, if anything, Tony was just _fascinated_ by the whole family. He was fascinated joining them for dinner and seeing how Gob had never exaggerated about Lucille’s drinking habits; in fact, he might have _undersold_ her. He was amazed at just how much food there was, and he definitely noticed how little Lindsay touched it. He noticed how Buster sat so close to his mom and how disinterested their dad seemed—and how fake his hair was. He noticed how Lucille's questions seemed to be trying to find some way to belittle him, which he found more amusing than anything else. 

He also noticed how Lindsay and Michael in particular kept looking at him, but he figured a lot of that was because, well, they probably knew just what all was going on between the two of them.

Something he found completely fascinating, however, was something rather small. Or, well, maybe it was small to them, but it was something Tony noticed right away. And it was something Tony brought up with Gob once they were back up in his room.

“How long has Rosa been your maid?” Tony asked.

“Since I was, like, five I think?” Gob said. “Why?”

“You seem to have a different relationship with her than your siblings,” Tony said. Gob gave him a confused look and Tony explained, “You were, like, the only person to make eye contact with her. And you thanked her when she brought out the food and took your plate and talked with her a bit. No one else did that. And, no offense or anything, but you don’t strike me as much of as please and thank you type—I mean, I know from experience how to make you beg, but…” Tony trailed off with a bit of a laugh, Gob quietly letting out a snort as he rolled his eyes.

After a moment, Gob shrugged. “I don’t know…I guess we’re kinda close.” He shrugged again. “I was four when we moved into this house. We lived in an apartment before, you know. It was super cramped and I hated not being able to run around or do anything. I was always stuck with my mom or the nanny. But then the business really took off and we got to move in here. Rosa was hired a little after that, and Michael and Lindsay were always off with the nanny, and my mom and I already didn’t get along, so I’d hang out with Rosa a lot. Since at least I could run around in the kitchen instead of sitting still with my baby brother. So, yeah, I spent a lot of time with her.”

“So, she’s like a maternal figure,” Tony said.

“Oh, _god_ , no. She’s actually, like, a good woman; she’s not like my mom at _all_. Like, she’s always been so nice to me and to everyone, really. Even when Buster blamed her for his parakeet’s death, she forgave him for being a little bitch about it.”

After a moment, Gob shrugged and added, “I guess she’s paid to be nice to us, but she seems to do more than that, you know? At least with me.”

Tony nodded. “It seems like she really likes you.” Thinking over what Gob said, Tony said, “So, I guess Michael and Lindsay are too young to remember life before Rosa.”

“Yeah. They don’t have to remember how hard it was. They don't remember our mom’s attempts at cooking. _God_.” Gob wrinkled his nose and shuddered at the thought. “There’s a reason we always have someone cook for us; I think I know more about cooking than my mom at this point.”

“And you eat uncooked spaghetti.”

“Hey, I like the crunch,” Gob said with a slight frown.  

* * *

The next day, Gob and Tony were getting ready to leave for the Hot Cops performance when there was a knock on the door. Well, Gob was getting ready while Tony was laying on Gob's bed and flipping through the pages of a magazine. Gob sighed and called out, “Yes?”

Lindsay came in and breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, you’re decent.”

“Shut up,” Gob said. “What do you want?”

“Michael needs your help with something.”

“With what?” Gob asked.

“I don’t know; you know how hard it is to pay attention to him,” Lindsay said.

Gob groaned and got up. “Fine. But it better be quick,” he muttered.

Lindsay stepped back so Gob could leave the room and, as soon as he saw him go into Michael’s room, she smirked to herself. This was all part of the plan, of course; she needed to get time alone with Tony to try to figure out if he was interested in Gob. And, of course, she probably needed to make sure he was worthy of her brother or whatever, but the main thing was trying to gauge Tony’s interest level. She was pretty confident he liked her brother, but Michael still had his doubts, because doubting was what Michael did best.

Lindsay turned back to Tony and said, “Hey.”

Tony gave her a wave. “Hi.”

“So, this is your first Christmas, right?” Lindsay asked as she went to sit on the cot across from Tony.

“Yep.”

“So…I guess Gob gets to pop your cherry on this one, huh?”

Tony laughed at the unexpected innuendo. “I guess it’s his turn to do that now, yes,” he said.

“Well, it’s nice that you’re taking turns on this. Seems very balanced,” Lindsay said.

“Depends on what you’re counting, I guess,” Tony said with a shrug, looking back at the _POOF_ magazine he was reading.

“How are you liking it so far?” Lindsay asked.

“Christmas? Or your family?” Tony asked.

“Both, I guess.”

Tony pursed his lips in thought and turned a page. “Well, this is my first time spending Christmastime in California, so it's kind of weird not being cold, but besides that, I don't really have anything to say. You guys haven't seemed to do anything too Christmas-y, but, then again, I don't really know what counts as Christmas-y.”

He stopped talking long enough that Lindsay prompted, “And our family?”

“…You’re _interesting_ ,” Tony said. “Much richer and much WASP-ier than anyone I know…” He laughed softly and said, “It honestly explains why Gob’s like that.”

Lindsay raised her eyebrows. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, he’s…you can tell he’s tried repressing a lot growing up. Not just the gay stuff, but, like, everything. Emotions and stuff.”

Lindsay couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Repressed? _Him_?” She scoffed. “Gob was the most likely to cry of us all. Well, unless I was trying to get something from daddy. Mom and dad always say he’s _dramatic_.” Realizing she wasn’t doing the job she had intended to do, Lindsay quickly said, “Not like he’s a crybaby or anything. I think he’s _sensitive_ in a good way, you know. He’s an artist; he’s not like dad or Michael. That’s a good thing.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, he’s definitely artistic. I like that.”

Smiling, Lindsay added, “And he’s very passionate.”

“Definitely.”

“And enthusiastic.”

Tony snorted. “Definitely. And very eager to please.” He smirked to himself and added under his breath, “I _definitely_ like _that_.”

Lindsay wrinkled her nose at the tone in his voice and shook her head. _Gross_. She did _not_ want to know what her brother was like in bed—it was bad enough hearing stories from her girlfriends. But at least it sounded like Gob was doing better with him than with girls, since they normally said he just laid there.

“Yeah. Gob’s great,” Lindsay said. “I’m glad you’re his… _friend_.”

Tony looked up at her and immediately took note of the weird look on her face. “Uh…yeah, I’m glad we’re friends, too. He’s a cool guy. Plus, I don’t know many magicians.”

“Yeah. I think he’s glad to have a magician _friend_ , too,” Lindsay said.

“Um…yeah, I’m glad he’s glad. I like having him around, so. Yeah.”

“I think he likes you, too.”

Tony raised his eyebrows, “Um…yeah, that’s good.”

Lindsay opened her mouth as if to speak, but, thankfully, they heard Gob walking down the hall and saying, “Michael, I don’t know which one you should give Tracey, okay? And I need to _go_ ; some of us have work.”

“But, Gob, wait—”

“Michael, leave Gob alone!” Lindsay called back out, just as Gob and Michael reached the door to Gob’s room, Michael obviously trying to keep him away. Michael gave his sister a confused look, and she continued, “He has to get going, like he said.”

“Yeah,” Gob scoffed, “And shouldn’t you ask _Lindsay_ about what dress to give her?”

Michael looked at his sister with a slight glare. After all, the question had been _her_ idea. “Yeah. You’d think,” he said.

“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I know anything about dresses,” Gob said, which was the most casual way he had ever acknowledged it. He grabbed his bag of Hot Cops clothing and looked at Lindsay, “What are you even doing here?”

Lindsay stood up and smoothed out her skirt. “I was just talking with your _friend_.”

Gob didn’t catch any sort of meaning behind how she said that word. “Well, are you done here?”

“Yeah, I’m done,” she said smiling at him. “Have fun at work.” With that, she left Gob’s room, pulling Michael with her.

Gob closed the door behind them. “I hate when they come in here,” he muttered.

Tony stood up and looked towards the door. “Yeah…no offense, but your sister’s kinda weird.”

Gob snorted. “Tell me about it.”

* * *

Stripping was really the best job for Gob. Well, the best job until he reached Houdini levels of success, at least. Being sexy, something he did without even trying, and getting paid for it? It was perfect. He normally felt at ease in every Hot Cops performance.

But this time, he felt nerves settle into his stomach. It wasn’t some random bachelorette party he was performing at solo at some seedy motel; it wasn’t a group performance for a bunch of drag queens at the Queen Mary; this time he knew someone in the audience. This time _Tony_ was there. This time, he truly cared if he skipped a beat in a dance routine or if he didn’t do his best. Yeah, Gob knew they were mostly group dances and he wasn’t doing anything too special, but Gob wanted to impress him.

His anxiety wasn’t eased by noticing just how skinny he was compared to the other guys. Gob had always known he wasn’t the beefiest guy, but he hadn’t realized just how bad it was until he thought about how Tony was going to be watching him. Hopefully the fact he could move his hips the best would help distract Tony from looking at anyone else.

“So, I see Tony came with you,” a fellow Hot Cop, James, observed.

“Ooooh, you mean Gob’s boyfriend?” Another one teased.

Gob rolled his eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, of course not,” James said, “All those moans coming from you in the dressing room during _Rocky_ were just you acting out the show, right?”

“A blowjob doesn’t mean anything,” Gob mumbled.

“Repeated ones with hickeys definitely mean something,” someone pointed out.

“Hey, if you don’t want to claim him, I’ll take him,” another one said.

Gob’s glare at him made the whole group laugh even more. “Shut up,” Gob said as they laughed.

“I’m just glad you accepted the gay thing."

Gob crossed his arms, slouching a little and one of the Hot Cops, Derek, frowned. “Hey, why the long face?”

“I can’t help how my face is shaped,” Gob responded.

“… _No_ , I mean why do you look so upset. We’re just teasing.”

“I’m not upset,” Gob said. “I’m just trying to focus on the show.”

“I think someone wants to impress their _boyfriend_.”  

Gob shook his head and went to wait backstage as everyone laughed. He peaked out the curtain and felt his heart leap and his stomach flip as he saw Tony sitting right in the front row.

It seemed like only seconds had passed before the rest of the Hot Cops joined him and they went on stage for their first number, a group dance to “Jingle Bell Rock”. And when Gob saw Tony beaming at him from the first row, Gob made sure to angle himself just right to give him the best view of his ass.

* * *

Gob was practically glistening from sweat when they finished the show. He had never put _that_ much effort into any performance. He normally just floated on his charisma and had fun, but this time he put his all into every thrust, every squat, every shake of his ass. And, apparently, all of his friends had noticed.

“Great show, Gob,” Derek said.

“Yeah, Tony definitely loved it,” James smirked.

Despite his protests earlier, Gob asked, “Really?”

“ _Definitely_ ,” someone said. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.”

“Well, it probably helped that you had your ass in his face the whole show.”

Gob laughed nervously and got to changing quickly. He wanted to get back to Tony as soon as he could.

* * *

Gob knew his own tolerance was pretty ridiculous, like, so ridiculous that it was nearly inhuman, but Tony was still a ridiculous lightweight. Like, it only took him two or three drinks to get tipsy, something Gob had learned over their time together over the past nearly two months they had been… _friends_.

So, it was clear to Gob that Tony had enjoyed a couple of drinks at the show. It was honestly kind of cute, watching him with his cute pink cheeks and listening to him laugh as they walked back to Gob’s car. He couldn’t even help but enjoy Tony’s laugh as they snuck back into the Bluth household, even if he tried to shush him. He knew his parents wouldn’t really care that they came back late, but he knew his mom would kill them if they disrupted her “beauty” sleep. Gob was pretty sure she needed all of it she could get, anyways.

“God, that show was great,” Tony said yet again as they got back to Gob’s room. He collapsed on Gob’s bed and smiled over at him. “You did a great job. Did I tell you that?”

“You did, but I don’t mind hearing it again,” Gob said.

“You’re really so good with your hips, aren’t you?” Tony asked.

“I’m pretty good, yeah,” Gob said with a grin.

“I really loved that last number the most. You look super cute with those reindeer antlers,” Tony teased.

Gob couldn’t help but pout a little. “I wasn’t supposed to be cute; I was supposed to be sexy.”

“Who says it can’t be both?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow. “I think cute can be very sexy. At least on you.” Gob felt his lips split into a grin and Tony said, “Yeah, like that smile of yours.” That just made Gob smile more. Tony grinned back and sat down on Gob’s bed. “Do you still have those antlers?”

“What? Yeah,” Gob said, looking through his bag of Hot Cops clothing. “I figured Buster might like them or something.” He shrugged and took them out, putting them back on with a suggestive look. “So…sexy, huh?”

“Very,” Tony said. Gob took them back off and put them on Tony’s head. “Hey! You’re gonna mess up my hair!” He frowned and adjusted them to sit right on his head, Gob laughing in the process.

“I guess I get it now; you look great."

“As much as I feel like a traitor to my people, I’m sure I look great,” Tony said dryly.

“You’re definitely the sexiest reindeer I’ve ever seen.”

Tony grinned, definitely liking the tone of Gob’s voice. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Gob said, a small grin on his face. “You know, I’ve always wanted to ride a reindeer.”

Despite how much Tony wanted that, he couldn’t help but laugh at the set-up. Gob pouted again and Tony said, “I’m sorry, that was just really funny.” After a few moments, Tony collected himself and nodded at Gob. “I think that could be arranged…but do I have to keep the antlers on for that?”

Gob shrugged. “We’ll see.” With that, Gob pressed his lips to Tony’s, his arms going around his neck. Tony's hands went to Gob's waist as he deepened the kiss, his tongue pressing inside of Gob's mouth soon enough. Gob moaned quietly into the kiss and Tony's hands moved under his shirt. They were cold against his back, making him shiver for a split second.

When they broke the kiss for a breath, Tony tugged Gob's shirt up and Gob lifted his arms enough to help him get it off. Tony's shirt came off just a second later, and Gob pressed his lips to Tony's neck as Tony started to undo his belt buckle. 

"Why the fuck did I even bother with this," Tony muttered to himself as he was still struggling with it a few moments later. Gob laughed against Tony's neck for a moment and then pulled away.

"Let me help, drunkie," Gob said, quickly undoing Tony's belt. It wasn't like it was hard.

"…See, you had a better angle to do that," Tony said in his defense, his toros leaning against the headboard. Gob laughed and, despite himself, Tony laughed as well. Gob unzipped and unbuttoned Tony's pants, pulling them down and off of him before taking off his own as well as their underwear, since he was pretty sure Tony was in the rang of being too tipsy/drunk to be much help in either department.

"You know," Gob said as he climbed back up onto Tony's lap, his arms again wrapping around Tony's shoulders, "Your nose and cheeks get a little red when you drink enough. You really got the Rudolph vibe going."

"If this is you revealing you have some sort of reindeer kink, I'm leaving right now," Tony declared, making them both laugh.

"Shut up. You know you'd buy more reindeer antlers if I said it was hot," Gob teased.

Tony looked a bit embarrassed at being called out like that, because it was really true. Thankfully Gob was too busy grabbing the lube and condoms from his nightstand to really notice.

Once the supplies were on the bed, Gob went back to kissing Tony. He ground his hips against his in the process, his cock slowly starting to harden as he heard Tony grab the lube and pop open the cap. Yep, that was a sure fire way to get his cock fully hard.

"You wanna ride my fingers, too?" Tony mumbled against Gob's lips. Gob nodded; he might as well get used to it from that angle, right? Tony poured some lube onto his right hand, not taking the time to try to warm it up a bit before moving his hand underneath Gob and to his rim. He circled his rim a few times with his finger before pressing in, the cold sensation causing a chill to run up Gob's spine and goosebumps to form on his arms and chest. He didn't mind, though, not when he finally got to feel that full sensation from Tony's finger.

After he had a moment to get used to it, Gob started to move his hips a little, riding Tony's finger slowly as he let himself get used to it. Gob nodded at Tony and, knowing exactly what that meant after their months together, Tony pressed a second finger inside of Gob as the other man's hips came to a still. As Gob kept his hips still, Tony scissored his fingers inside of him, helping spread him out as Gob bit his lip hard to try to keep silent. While he preferred laying down, something about riding Tony could be even better. It was something with the angle; now that he had more experience with it, he could find the best angles for himself right away.

Gob started to grind down on Tony's fingers again, slowly lifting himself up and lowering himself a few times. He nodded soon after that and finally let out a moan as Tony pressed in a third finger. As Tony stretched his fingers inside of him, Gob snuck a hand under himself to grab Tony's cock. He gripped it firmly and started to stroke, now moaning from both Tony's fingers inside of him and the weight of Tony's cock in his hand. He always loved how great he felt, whether he was holding him in his hand or tasting him on his tongue or squeezing around him as he fucked him. Gob just…he just really loved Tony's cock a lot, okay?

"God, yeah," Tony moaned absent mindedly as Gob started to ride his fingers again, still doing his best to stroke and squeeze Tony in the process. "Shit, I gotta get the condom on—wanna come inside you." Gob groaned, part of him wondering what it would be like to feel Tony come inside of him for real without a condom as a barrier. But he knew that wasn't the time to talk about it.

Instead, Gob let go of Tony's cock and opened the condom himself and rolled it down Tony's shaft as quickly as possible. He wanted to keep Tony's fingers inside of him as long as he could, and Tony seemed to realize that, seeing as he kept spreading his fingers inside of him as Gob started to lube up his cock.

Gob wiped the excess lube around his hole, his fingers lightly grazing Tony's where they still pressed inside of him. "Fuck," Gob gasped. It was so hot to him to feel how much Tony was stretching him, and his own fingers pressing against his rim turned him on even more.

"Sometimes I swear you really need two cocks inside of you to keep you satisfied," Tony said. "We need to get you a toy sometime to try that out." Gob whimpered at the teasing, both intrigued by the idea and a little scared of it. 

Gob pulled his fingers away and Tony pulled his fingers out as Gob raised himself up higher. Tony lined his cock with Gob's hole and, with bated breath, he watched as Gob slowly lowered himself on his cock.

Once Gob lowered himself completely, he whimpered as his eyes fluttered close. Tony soothingly rubbed his hand over his friend's hip, licking over his lips as he held himself back from moaning at how tight and fucking  _hot_ Gob felt around his cock. He wanted to make sure Gob was okay at least—

But, okay, apparently he didn't need to worry about that, as Gob opened his eyes, his eyelids still heavy as he looked at him with hungry eyes. "Gonna ride you," Gob managed to say.

"Yeah?" Tony replied, his voice low in his throat.

"Yeah," Gob said breathlessly as he started to slowly raise himself up and then lower his hips back down. 

"Good," Tony said quietly as he watched Gob repeat that motion. "You always look so hot riding my cock."

"Mmhmm," Gob hummed without thought, his hand going to the headboard behind Tony for balance and leverage. He moved his hips slightly, then again and again, trying to find that perfect angle before he sped up. 

"Come on, babe," Tony whispered encouragingly, his fingernails digging into Gob's hips. "You can find it." Gob nodded; it still took him a bit of time to find it himself, since he didn't look for it himself nearly as much as Tony did. He hadn't even fingered himself since he started hooking up with Tony; what was the point when Tony did it so perfectly anyways?

He leaned forward a bit more, his other hand going to Tony's shoulders, and he rolled his hips just right and—

" _Fuck_ ," Gob moaned. Tony moaned as well; he definitely got turned on when Gob was as turned on as possible. 

"There you go," Tony murmured as Gob started to move at that angle, his hips moving faster as he moved just right over Tony's cock. Gob's moans were starting to become more consistent as he kept going and going, getting to a pretty impressive speed, especially considering all the dancing he had already done that day. While Tony knew Gob preferred being the pillow princess he was, he really  _did_ give it his all when he rode him, which was just half of what turned him on so much.

"Fuck, babe, you look so good like that. You love riding my cock, don't you?" Tony asked. Okay, his dirty talk wasn't his strongest when he was liquored up, what could he say? Gob still seemed to appreciate it as he nodded with a whimper. Tony slipped his hands from Gob's hips back to the top of Gob's ass. He slapped Gob's ass with one hand, eliciting a loud moan from Gob, the sound going straight to Tony's cock and making his eyebrows raise. Tony made a mental note to explore that more that he hoped he remembered when he was more sober. "Come on, you can go faster than that, Gobie," Tony said, slapping his ass with the other hand, Gob moaning again, even louder. 

Thankfully, though Tony wasn't sober enough to think about keeping Gob quiet, Gob started moving fast enough that he was panting and his moans weren't nearly as powerful. Even as Tony started to move his hips to meet Gob's thrusts and Gob started to get even closer to the edge, his moans still weren't quite as loud as usual. Tony bit on his own lower lip to keep himself quiet as he watched Gob bounce on his cock. Seeing Gob's cock move with him, the sweat glistening on his face and shoulders and waxed chest, the slight redness to his cheeks from the effort he was putting into it, the pleasure in his eyes and the quiet moans mixed with pants…it was all pushing him even further over the edge. 

Tony reached between the two of them to grab Gob's cock. He wrapped his hand firmly around him and stroked him fast. Gob lost his balance for a moment at the unexpected pleasure, his whole body falling forward with a small yelp leaving his mouth. He took a moment to collect himself and then Tony slapped his ass with both hands and Gob moaned breathlessly before getting back to work.

"That's it babe," Tony said as Gob got back to his original speed. Tony continued to meet their hips together and stroked Gob's cock until Gob finally came, his torso falling forward again as his hips jerked and he moaned, his sweaty forehead resting on Tony's shoulder. He breathed heavily as his hips stopped moving. Tony ran his hands up and down his back, quietly praising him as he let Gob calm down, doing his best to ignore how hard he still was.

However, Gob couldn't ignore that. He started moving his hips again, and Tony assumed he wanted him out of him because, come on, he had to be sensitive that close to his orgasm. But Gob, after a small wince, started to move his hips again. 

"Gob…Gob, you don't have to do this," Tony told him, even as a small moan left his mouth.

"I know," Gob murmured, "I want to. Shut up." He moved his hips some more and then, unable to stop himself, Tony thrust his hips up against Gob's. It only took a few more moments before Tony finally came as well. Gob kept grinding down on his cock as Tony came, biting hard on his lip to stop himself from wincing. 

Once Tony's hips stilled, Gob climbed off of him and all but fell onto his side from how tired his body was. It had been a very long, very physical and tiring day for him, after all. Tony quickly got rid of the condom and then pulled Gob in close. Gob rest his still sweaty forehead against Tony's shoulder as he worked on catching his breath. Yet again, Tony ran his hands up and down Gob's back as he whispered in his ear, "You're so good, babe. So good." Tony was always so great about helping Gob calm down after sex, no matter how kinky or not-kinky it was. Gob liked having someone who'd bring him back to earth, someone who kept him grounded. Or, well, at least he loved having having  _Tony_ doing that. But he really loved a lot of things that Tony did…

Eventually, Gob finally caught his breath and he looked back up at Tony. "That was great."

"Yeah. It really was," Tony said, pushing back some of Gob's hair that had fallen on his forehead. They both looked into each other's eyes, some weird emotion running through Gob as they did so. Just when it got to feel too intense, Tony broke the eye contact and they heard something jingle. Gob looked up and started laughing hysterically.

Tony still had the antlers on.

Both of them had completely forgotten about it, but as Gob pointed at his head, Tony reached for them and started laughing hard as well. They both worked each other up even more and they each laughed harder and harder, especially when the antlers started jingling more with Tony's laughs.

Suddenly there was a knock on Gob's wall. "Can you  _please_ shut the fuck  _up_?" Michael shouted through the wall.

Of course, the realization that Michael had most certainly heard everything that had happened that night just made both of them laugh even harder.

Michael groaned loud enough they could hear him through the wall, but, well, they deserved at least that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this weird headcanon that, because Lucille and Gob didn't really get along ever, he was always super close to the help, since he preferred to spend time with them. I figured that Michael and Buster in particular never really noticed them as much since they never knew life without them, but Gob remembered a time when they weren't there, so he just noticed them more. If that makes sense. Idk if I'm explaining myself well, but, yeah, I think Tracey helped Michael recognize the maids and such they had, since it was a new experience for her, but Michael never really thought of it as different until then. He wasn't rude to them, he just didn't think much of them. And, of course, Gob wasn't the most respectful to all the maids most likely, he just was close to Rosa at least.
> 
> I don't know, it's kind of weird and I don't think I'm explaining it well, but oh well!


	3. Underneath the Mistletoe Last Night

**[Underneath the Mistletoe Last Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsat4e8jgHA) **

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Gob gently nudged Tony awake. Tony groaned a little and Gob laughed; normally it was the other way around. Just like how Tony got tipsy easier than Gob did, he also felt the effects of drinking alcohol the next day easier than Gob did.

“You hungover?” Gob asked.

Tony shook his head. “No, just tired.” He scrunched up his still closed eyes and asked, “Why are you even awake?”

Gob shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I just wake up.”

Tony groaned again and hid his face in Gob’s neck. “It’s too bright.”

Gob laughed again. “Are you sure you’re not hungover?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Tony said, though he burrowed his head further into the crook of Gob’s neck. Gob’s skin raised in goosebumps and a small, breathless laugh escaped his throat from Tony’s beard tickling the sensitive skin of his neck.

It was Tony’s turn to laugh. “You like that?”

“It tickles,” Gob said. Tony purposefully and stubbornly rubbed his beard against Gob’s neck, making him laugh louder.

“Stoooop!” Gob whined through his laughter, trying to get away.

The opportunity to torture Gob seemed too wake Tony up. He finally opened his eyes and he wrapped his arms firmly around Gob. “Quit moving!”

“No!”

The two of them kept struggling for a moment, Gob trying to push Tony away as they reached the edge of his bed; if he kept moving any more, they’d fall off.

Tony seemed to recognize that, and used it to his advantage. He climbed on top of Gob, straddling his hips. Gob tried to push him off, both of them laughing now, and Tony pinned his wrists down.

“I won,” Tony grinned.

Gob took in the position they were in and commented, “I think I’m the real winner.” His voice was even lower at that.

Very familiar with that tone of voice from Gob, Tony cocked an eyebrow up. “Yeah?”

“…You know how I like being at your mercy,” Gob said quietly and hoarsely. He hated admitting how much he liked being submissive to Tony, but, well, it was true.

And Tony knew that. He smirked at that, sitting up straighter over Gob’s hips, enough so that the blanket fell off of his naked body—it wasn’t like either of them were going to bother on dressing after they fucked the night before. “Hmm…what should I do to you?” He moved Gob’s hands over his head and crossed them at the wrist so he could hold them down with one hand. His other hand went to Gob’s chest, lightly tracing down the waxed area and watching more goosebumps form on Gob’s skin.

Without warning, Tony leaned down and pressed his lips to Gob’s. Gob moaned quietly into the kiss, already arching his back as Tony teased over a nipple—

“ _Oh!_ ”

The two of them immediately stopped kissing and whipped their heads to the door. Rosa was standing there, her eyes wide as she looked at the naked men that were clearly trying to have sex, or at least make-out. Gob was frozen with fear, a sick feeling settling in his stomach as he saw the look on his maid’s face.

Finally, Rosa broke the silence by saying, “…I’ll come back to clean later.”

She closed the door behind her as she left and Gob pushed himself up to a sitting position.

 _Fuck_.

* * *

Gob got dressed in a hurry, Tony apologizing the whole time.

“It’s not your fault—I didn’t lock the door—she won’t—she wouldn’t tell them—would she?” Gob kept muttering to himself, too panicked to figure out what to do.

“I’m sure she won’t tell your parents; it’s fine,” Tony said, getting dressed quickly himself. “Just talk to her. You said yourself you’re close.”

“I know we’re close, that makes it worse!” Gob said. “She’s gonna hate me now, and she was, like, the only person in the house who _liked_ me.”

Tony frowned. “That’s not true, Gob. Your siblings all love you; Lindsay was just talking about how great you were last night.”

Gob didn’t have time to wonder why the fuck Lindsay was doing _that_ of all things.

“Look,” Tony said calmly, reaching up to put his hands on Gob’s shoulders. “Just talk to her. I’m sure she doesn’t hate you; she was just shocked.” Gob didn’t look reassured. “I can come with you if you want,” he offered.

After a moment, Gob shook his head. “No, no. It’d be better if I do this alone.”

“Okay.” Tony reached up to kiss Gob’s cheek. Trying to the lighten the mood, Tony joked, “At least it wasn’t your mother, right?”

Gob groaned at the mere idea.

* * *

Thankfully, the kitchen was deserted when Gob got there. Well, deserted in terms of his family. Rosa was there scrubbing down the counters. When she saw Gob walk in awkwardly, she looked up and asked, “Do you want some breakfast?”

Surprised at how normal she was acting, Gob nodded. “Uh, yeah, sure. Eggs would be great.”

“I know how you like it,” Rosa said simply. The casual nature of her reply did nothing to calm his panic. Rosa, however, just got the bread, butter, and eggs to make eggs in a basket. It was one of Gob’s favorite breakfast foods, and it had been since he was a kid.

As she let the butter on the skillet heat on the burner, she poured Gob some coffee. He made a face but took the mug; he had it every day since it helped him focus, but he hated the taste. As per usual, she handed him the cream and poured in the same number of sugar packets he used every day, and Gob poured both products in before handing them back with a small smile and a _thanks_.

He sat down at a chair at the counter and watched her cook. It was a lot like what he did every morning when he was a kid. Lindsay and Michael would hang out with their nanny, and Gob would run downstairs to watch Rosa cook. When she made waffles, she’d always slip him an extra one. Sometimes she let him crack an egg, and he’d normally mess it up, but she’d fish out any eggshells he accidentally spilled onto the skillet. It was the closest he got to cooking himself over the years, and, to this day, Rosa was the only person who trusted him around fire.

“I had a feeling,” Rosa finally said after a moment as she cut a hole into a slice of bread. “When I went to clean earlier this week, it looked like his bed hadn’t even been touched.”

Gob didn’t know what to say to that, so he just chugged some coffee to keep himself occupied. Thankfully the cream helped cool it off enough that he didn’t burn himself.

“And watching you growing up…” Rosa trailed off and shook her head, obviously not wanting to get into it. “I’m not too surprised.”

“You aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?” Gob finally asked.

Rosa gave him a serious look. “It’s no one’s business, is it?” She looked back at the pan and put the bread in it, letting it grill a little before cracking an egg into the hole. “It’s not even _my_ business. It’s just yours and that little man’s business.”

“Tony,” Gob provided.

“Yes, yes, Tony, your boyfriend.” Gob opened his mouth to correct her, but she continued, “Just…be careful.”

Gob looked at her in confusion and she looked back up at him with concern. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen the news. All the young men getting sick…” she shook her head sadly.

 _Oh_. “…I’m fine, Rosa. Promise.”

Rosa nodded. “That boy seems good for you, so stick with him.” She flipped over the bread in the pan and added, “I should’ve known not to go in after you locked the door every night. I’ll knock next time.”

Gob nodded. The two remained silent as she finished cooking the egg dish. When they were done, she slipped the eggs onto a dish and shifted the plate in front of him. She cleaned up as Gob slowly ate and then went on to finish cleaning the rest of the house. Before she left, Rosa kissed Gob on the cheek. Gob smiled to himself and pressed a hand to his cheek after she left. He felt oddly touched in a way he didn't expect.

* * *

The Christmas Eve Spectacular at the Gothic Castle was a long event. Twelve hours of magical performances played throughout the day, all with a special Christmas theme in them. One ticket bought you a meal and a drink, and you could stay as long as you want.

Really, it was meant as a way to keep kids occupied throughout the day, but Gob obviously showed up with Tony in order to see his show. The free drink was just a bonus.

Tony’s performance was one of the earlier ones, meaning it coincided with the Living Classics pageant, something he was all too glad to skip in favor of seeing his _friend_ perform his show. Gob watched the other magicians enviously as they performed; he had auditioned and didn’t make it in and he could perform _circles_ around these idiots. He bought himself another drink and moved towards the front as they announced that Tony would be next. At least there’d be someone _good_ up there. _Finally_.

And the weird thing was that Gob…Gob wasn’t _jealous_ of him.

Well, okay, maybe he was a little, especially at the beginning. But Tony was so good, so talented, so _passionate_ about it, that Gob couldn’t help but smile as he watched him bounce around the stage, randomly performing tricks, pulling things out of his body, everything. Gob couldn’t believe it took someone leaving for him to be added to the show; he was the best of the whole set by _far_.

For his last trick, he went with something simple, magically making a rose appear from thin air. Even Gob, who was _really_ good at sleight of hand, had no idea where it came from. He clapped along with the rest of the “How’d he do dat?”s, cheering extra loud as Tony took his bow.

Tony heard him and looked in Gob’s direction. With his smile still spread on his face, Tony threw the rose at him. Gob caught it and Tony gave him a wink before a cloud of smoke engulfed the stage. The lights flickered off and when they came back, Tony was gone.

The rest of the crowd clapped loudly, but Gob looked at the flower in his hand and smiled so hard it hurt. 

* * *

Gob spent the whole ride back to his house raving about Tony. He had seen him do shows before, but the Christmas Eve Spectacular performance was just truly… _spectacular_.

“You were seriously the only one who deserved to be up there,” Gob said once he parked. “I don’t know how you didn’t make it the first time around or why you weren’t later in the day. You were the best out there; the crowd _loved_ you!”

Tony smiled as he got out of the car. “You’re being way too nice, Gob, but thanks.” He nudged Gob as they started walking into the house. “We’ll just work on getting you in next year.”

“Yeah…” Gob sighed wistfully. “There’s no one who loves Christmas more than me in the magician community! I don’t know how I didn’t make it…” He frowned to himself in thought; was the light up Christmas sweater too much?

"We just need to find you some sort of gimmick to help you get started,” Tony said with a nod. Gob was still frowning and Tony grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding a rose. Gob looked at him in surprise and Tony gave his hand a small squeeze. “Don’t worry; you’re still young. We’ll find you something soon.”

Despite himself, Gob smiled and gave Tony’s hand a small squeeze back.

As soon as they entered the house, Gob dropped Tony’s hand, but his fingers still seemed to be tingling and a funny feeling ran through him as he found a vase for the rose.

* * *

Dinner that night was delicious. After all, Rosa always had a gift for holiday dinners. The conversation was light and easy throughout it, seeing as Lucille was too busy drinking to make too many scathing comments and while Lindsay kept asking Tony weird questions, no one seemed to really notice. The weird questions were probably just from all the alcohol they were having. Because it was a Bluth Christmas Celebration, everyone but Buster had some sort of drink in front of them: Tony had some red wine, Michael and Gob had scotch, Lindsay and Lucille had vodka, and that was just for starters. And as Rosa came in and out to help serve food, she occasionally pressed a hand over Gob’s shoulder affectionately, which made Gob feel even warmer than the alcohol did.

Once they all finished, Tony expected them to go into the great room. They had been doing that most nights, normally to watch some Claymation movie or another at Buster’s request. But as he started turning that way, Lindsay took his hand and pulled him to the living room where everyone else was going.

“Oh, do you guys open presents now or something?” Tony asked, pulling his hand out of hers.

“Nope. Not yet,” Lindsay said.

“It’s the family sing-along time,” Michael said, his voice lacking any enthusiasm.

Okay, that had to be a joke, right? Tony could handle the idea of the Bluths watching Claymation puppets or whatever and having lots of decoration and he _definitely_ got the whole thing about them drinking alcohol. But some sort of sing-along? Tony laughed at what had to be a joke.

Only Lindsay and Michael weren’t laughing. They were standing off to a corner, their drinks in their hands, as Lucille went to the piano…

Where Gob was sitting on the bench.

…What?

“Let’s start with some ‘We Need a Little Christmas’,” Lucille told Gob, the slightest bit of a slur evident in her voice. Gob nodded and placed his hands on the keys, starting the song with no prompting whatsoever.

Again, _what_?

Tony craned his neck to look at the piano stand, but there was no music on it. In fact, Gob wasn’t even looking at the piano, but was instead looking at his mom to try to match her tempo as she started to sing. She made it through a few measures before saying, “Stop, stop!” Gob obeyed and she said, “What key was that? It was much too high.”

“It was the same key it’s always been,” Gob said.

Lucille frowned, looking ready to say some rude remark or another; Tony had heard a couple of them through the last few days. But, unlike what Gob had done before, Gob just stared back at his mom with a raised eyebrow, daring her to challenge him. “Do you want me to find the sheet music? I’m sure we have it somewhere.”

Surprisingly, Lucille backed down. “Fine. But I need it lower this year.”

“How much? A full step?” Gob started playing the melody in that key and Lucille nodded. “Okay. From the top.” He sighed and, after a moment of thought, he started to play the song again in the new key, still not even looking at the keys as he followed his mom.

While Lucille sang along to several songs and Buster joined in when he could, Michael and Lindsay mostly stood off to the side and only sang when goaded by their mom. Eventually one of them left and came back with a large bottle of vodka, drinking it on the rocks along with their mom as the sing-along kept going.

Tony, however, was too fascinated by Gob’s playing to even think of drinking more. Gob never took out a piece of sheet music, barely had to look at the keys, and even switched keys when asked—sometimes doing so in the middle of a song when his mom started to go flat.

Even stranger, Lucille was smiling so proudly at him. Despite how little Tony had been around, he could tell that this wasn't a common occurrence. But the two of them were laughing in between songs, and sometimes Gob sang along, and while his voice wasn’t the greatest, he managed to provide some nice harmony every now and then.

Tony looked over at Gob with awe. “I had no idea he could do that,” he whispered, barely aware that anyone could hear him.

“Well, he took lessons for, like, ten years,” Michael said, frowning a little. "That's all."

Lindsay nodded. “Yeah. But, like, we _all_ tried. We were just never as good as him,” she said, her words slurring the slightest bit together. “’Specially not Michael.” Her twin shot her a glare and she laughed. “What? It’s okay to not be good at something.”

“…But he’s not even using sheet music,” Tony said after a moment, choosing not to engage in the sibling rivalry.

They both shrugged at him. “Yeah. He’s always been able to do that,” Michael said, not getting the big deal. It was just something Gob could do.

“Yeah, our teacher said something about perfect pitch or something?” Lindsay said. She laughed and said, “You wouldn’t know it from how he sings.”

“One year he just sat down and started playing Christmas songs without music and mom started to sing, and now we have to do this at least once a year.” Michael shrugged. “He does it with Queen and stuff, too, but mom obviously hates that. She loves Christmas music, though.”

Tony looked at the two of them with confusion. “…You know that’s a really rare thing, right? Perfect pitch? And the ability to play music completely by ear?”

The two of them looked at each other and then back at Tony. “It is?” Lindsay asked. She looked over at her brother and mother, a slightly impressed look on her face. “Huh.”

“Yeah,” Tony said. “Musicians can work their whole life and still not be able to play by ear like that.” He looked back over at Gob, still marveling at this ability he had no idea his friend had.

Suddenly remembering her whole plan, Lindsay said, “It’s really cool, huh? I told you our brother’s awesome…quite the catch.” She gave Michael a significant look and gestured with her head towards Tony.

Reluctantly, Michael nodded. “Yeah. Who doesn’t love the artistic types, right?”

While Tony was barely paying attention, he couldn’t help but nod in agreement as his eyes stayed locked on Gob's frame.

* * *

“I didn’t know you played piano,” Tony said. Once Lucille had left the room, Buster quickly following behind her, Lindsay and Michael eagerly left the family gathering. Tony had no idea where George had gone to, but that was the farthest thought from his mind at the moment. 

Gob shrugged initially in response as he stood up. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. I don’t really talk about it much.”

“Do you not like it?” Tony asked.

“No, I do,” Gob said, carefully shutting the lid to the keys. He ran his hand affectionately over it, gentler than Tony had ever seen him. “I love it, really. Back when I had a smaller bed, I actually put this electric keyboard on there as a headboard. You know, like how Freddie Mercury did? I kept bumping my head against it when I woke up, but it was totally worth it to have keys right there.” Gob laughed at the memory; he missed that, but he liked having a big bed instead. After a moment he shrugged and nonchalantly said, “I thought about doing it. You know, professionally. My teacher thought I could make it into Juilliard.”

Tony couldn’t help but stare at how casually Gob said that, as if it was something everyone did growing up, like everyone had the ability to make it to Juilliard. “Why didn’t you?” Tony asked.

Again, Gob shrugged at first. “I don’t know. I like magic more. New York sounds cold.” He laughed quietly at that for a moment and then looked down at his feet.

“…My dad always gave me a hard time about it,” he finally admitted. “For being good at it and liking it. He said we couldn’t even play catch because it would hurt my ‘delicate’ fingers. And I got tired of it.”

He blinked a few times before looking back at Tony and said, “I’m not sure the magic thing is much better to him, come to think of it. But I like it more. Having to sit still at a piano all day can suck.”  After another moment, Gob admitted, “I do miss it sometimes, though. Just the playing part. I always like when my mom gets me to play during this time of year.” It helped that they got along the best when he was playing for her. It was really the only time she ever complimented him or favored him in any way. It was half of what he loved about Christmas.

After looking at him thoughtfully for a minute, Tony suggested, “If you miss it, maybe you should play it more.” Gob shrugged and Tony snapped his fingers. “Remember what I was saying about finding you a gimmick? I think you could find a way to work it into your act. It could totally work, something all, like… _Phantom of the Opera_ style.”

Gob looked at Tony, a smile slowly spreading on his face. “That could actually be really cool.”

“Totally! You could have like fire tricks and disappear at the end like he does.”

“Yeah, and I could get a sick cape for my costume!” Gob added excitedly.

“Yeah, and the mask!”

Gob pointed at his face and scoffed, “And cover up my face? _Please_. It’s my money maker.”

“You have a point,” Tony said with a kind laugh. “It’s a really cute face.”

Suddenly, Gob’s cocky act faded away and he smiled giddily and ducked his head a little. He didn’t know how Tony always got that response out of him, but he couldn’t say he completely hated it.

"It's even cuter when you do that."

Gob _definitely_ didn’t hate how Tony was looking at him, either. It was a weird look, a look he didn’t expect from anyone, least of all Tony, but it was a nice one. It was… _sweet_.

“You know, I’ve really been enjoying staying here,” Tony said. He ducked his head a little bit like Gob had done seconds before, something he had never done before. Gob tilted his head, slightly confused, and Tony continued, “I don’t know, man…I’ve kind of liked learning so much about you. And having you around. I still don’t get Christmas, but…” He shrugged and said, “I like that it makes you so happy.”

The two of them smiled at each other silently for a few moments. Finally, Tony cleared his throat and said, “Should we, uh, get some more to drink? I heard your mom mention something about some spiked cider?”

Gob nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah, definitely. I have _not_ nearly drunk enough for Christmas time.” Gob grabbed his now empty glass from the floor and the two of them left the room.

“You know, I’ve always heard you’re supposed to have whiskey straight,” Tony said, looking at the melted ice cubes in Gob’s glass.

Gob stopped in his steps. “Can gays not drink it?” Gob whispered. Fuck, he really thought he was getting a handle on the whole gay culture thing, too.

Tony laughed. “No, I meant the ice cubes. Aren’t you supposed to have it without it?”

“Oh. You mean neat versus on the rocks,” Gob said. “You can really have it either way…Michael and my dad make fun of me for having it this way sometimes, but whatever. I like cold drinks more than neat.” He looked at Tony’s glass and said, “And I prefer that to wine, too.”

“Hey, wine’s nice,” Tony said. He teased, “Just because _you’re_ unsophisticated doesn’t mean we all have to be.”

“You don’t even know what _real_ champagne is; don’t try to say I’m unsophisticated,” Gob teased back, stepping in a bit closer.

"Not all of us grew up with money, Rich Kid," Tony smirked, taking a step closer to Gob as well.

“Heeeeyyyy big brother and big brother’s friend!” They both turned to see Buster staring at them. “Look!” He pointed above them and they looked up to see a small plant hanging from the doorframe they had stepped under. “Mistletoe!”

Gob and Tony looked at each other. As much as Gob wanted to kiss him, it wasn’t something they could really do. Not only because of the whole gay thing not mixing well with the whole family thing, but _just kissing_? Not as a preamble to sex, but just for kissing’s sake? That would _definitely_ blur the lines of their _friendship_ even more.

Forcing out a small laugh, Gob said, “We’re not gonna kiss, Buster.”

“But you’ve got to!” Buster insisted. He whispered, “It’s bad luck if you don’t!”

"Buster—”

“I don’t want you to have bad luck, Gob!” Buster looked panicked at the mere idea, and he started to pull at his collar nervously.

“Okay, okay!” Gob said quickly, not wanting to whip him into a panic attack. “We’ll do it. Just don't tell mom, because it's just for the luck thing.” Under his breath he added, “And so you calm the fuck down…” 

Buster nodded in agreement and Gob looked around to make sure it was only the three of them. Then Gob turned to Tony, his eyes nervous. Tony gave him a reassuring nod of his head and the two leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the other’s lips.

The kiss didn’t last long, but it definitely was a bit more than a peck. Gob was sure he saw fireworks behind his closed eyes and he definitely felt a thrill run up his back. But it wasn’t like the thrill he felt when Tony fucked him or when he talked dirty in his ear or even when his beard tickled his neck. It felt like how he felt when Tony gave him the rose earlier, or when he squeezed his hand, or whenever he smiled at him.

It took a few moments for Gob to open his eyes after they pulled away. When he did, he looked briefly into Tony’s eyes until Buster’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Yay! No more bad luck!” Buster cheered. In a quiet voice, he said, “You should get out from under there before you need to kiss again!”

Tony and Gob looked back at each other and then each stepped out from under the mistletoe, each of them going the opposite way from the other.

“…So, cider, right?” Gob asked Tony.

Tony hesitated. “I…I think I’m gonna head up to bed.” Gob felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. “You know, long day and the big performance and everything. I’m pretty exhausted.”

“Oh. Well, I could join you if you want—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tony said. “You should enjoy the cider. And your family and everything. I should stop intruding on the Christmas stuff. It's a family thing anyways.”

Gob looked at him silently for a few moments, studying his face, but he couldn’t figure out what he meant—he didn’t know what _any_ of it meant.

“…Yeah, of course. I’ll see you up there,” Gob said. He watched Tony go up the steps, not turning away until he heard his bedroom door open and close.

Once he went upstairs himself after having his fill of (heavily) spiked cider, Gob felt another punch to his gut as he saw Tony sleeping in the cot instead of in his bed.

Gob climbed into his suddenly too big bed and looked up at the ceiling.

What the hell happened? 


	4. I Just Want You For My Own

**[I Just Want You For My Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY) **

“I can’t believe you didn’t get me anything,” Gob whined. Michael wasn’t the best at giving gifts, but he never plain _forgot_ to give him one.

“I have one for you. Lindsay and I are doing something, it’s just not ready yet,” Michael said. Gob still pouted and Michael sighed. “I told her we shouldn’t have done this…”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you,” Michael said. Gob tried to beg for him to say it and Michael said, “I promised I wouldn’t, okay?”

Normally, Gob would keep whining or try to get more information or pout over it. But, much to Michael's surprise, Gob just sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair. "Whatever. It's been the worst Christmas anyways."

Michael looked at his brother in confusion. "What are you talking about? You seemed to be having so much fun with Tony and everything."

Gob crossed his arms, glancing over at their parents. They were out of earshot, but Gob still felt too nervous talking about Tony stuff with them in the same room. He settled on just quietly saying, "I guess he wasn't having as much fun as me."

"What do you mean?"

"He just…he just doesn't like me that way, okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Gob said tightly.

That just made Michael even more confused. Tony had seemed to be having so much fun, too. And he seemed to be so into Gob on top of it, at least based on everything he had heard through his bedroom's wall.

Which, come to think about it, he hadn't heard anything of the night before…

Michael knew he wasn't good with emotions. He knew he was logical to a fault; there was a reason why Gob called him a robot, after all. He wasn't someone who was particularly good at expressing emotions or understanding them. But even he could see how Tony had looked at Gob over the past few days as more than a friend. He saw how Tony's eyes never left Gob once he sat down at the piano. He saw how he smiled at him and how he laughed at his dumb jokes that no one else laughed at.

Yeah, maybe Michael didn't understand emotions, but he knew Tony was enjoying himself with Gob. 

Just then, Lindsay came over and asked, "Where's Tony?"

"In my room. He didn't want to intrude on family time," Gob mumbled. He looked over the wrapping paper around his chair and then back up at Lindsay. "Hey, you didn't get me anything, either. What the fuck?"

As Lindsay and Gob got into the same conversation Michael had just had with his older brother, Michael crossed his arms. Michael was tired of getting yanked around in this dumb plan. He was tired of getting blamed for Lindsay’s lame excuses. And, furthermore, he was tired of watching two people who clearly liked each other doing nothing about it. He wouldn’t have been surprised if _Buster_ knew at this rate.

So, Michael went upstairs as he watched Lindsay and Gob having the same discussion he just had with Gob. He knocked on Gob’s door and, once he got a positive answer from Tony, he walked in and closed the door behind him.

“Hey, Michael,” Tony said, a little confused. “Anything I can do for you?”

“I have a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you like my brother?” Tony gave him a confused look and Michael asked, “Do you like Gob as more than a friend or hook-up or whatever?”

Tony looked at him for a long moment, but Michael didn’t back down. Finally, after several moments of silence, Tony whispered, “Is it that obvious?”

Michael sighed in relief. “Well, it is to me and Lindsay at least. No idea about anyone else. It’s definitely not obvious to Gob, but, then again, Gob doesn’t really recognize things well in general.” Tony looked concerned and Michael shook his head. “Never mind. Look, the two of us have been trying to set you up this week—Lindsay and I. Well, _she’s_ been trying, and I don’t think she’s doing a good job with it, seeing as she’s put the mistletoe nowhere near you two and she keeps insulting him and she’s just not good at setting people up.”

“She has?” Tony asked, thoroughly surprised. “I just thought maybe she was socially awkward or something. Or maybe trying to flirt with me.”

“Yeah, well, that’s Lindsay for you. She's not as good at this matchmaker thing as she thinks.” Michael shrugged. “Look, she convinced me we could do this instead of getting Gob a gift, so I didn’t get him a gift, which was stupid of me, since I should _never_ trust Lindsay on this stuff.”

“You wanted me to be his Christmas present from you?”

“…I guess? I don’t know. We just know Gob likes you as more than a friend—"

"He does?" Tony asked both hopefully and nervously. "I mean, I hoped he did, but I didn't know if he was just acting like that because I'm the first guy he's been with or what."

Michael just stared at Tony. He had never met someone so oblivious—

Except for his brother, of course.

"…You two really  _are_ perfect for each other. Do you know that?" 

* * *

Michael left a few minutes later and sent Gob up as soon as he got down stairs. Gob didn't seem excited to go upstairs, but he did what he was told anyways.

"Hey," Gob said when he got in his room, not really noticing how nervously Tony was standing. "Michael said you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah," Tony said quietly. "I, um…I wanted to talk." He sat down and gestured for Gob to do the same next to him.

 _Uh oh_. Gob had seen enough movies to know this couldn't be good. Still, Gob sat down next to Tony and looked at his feet, trying to prepare himself for the inevitable speech about how Tony obviously wasn't interested in him because who  _would_ be?

"…You know, when I first saw you, I just thought you were kinda cute. Well, more than cute, really; you were really hot," Tony said, laughing slightly under his breath. "And as you kept coming back, I thought you were even cuter. I never had someone look at you like how you looked at me. Like I was so cool or whatever—no one thought I was cool growing up. I was the weird Goth kid who did magic in New York City. Hardly popular. And I guess I liked having someone see me as cool."

Gob's eyebrows furrowed together. He had no idea what this had to do with anything, but he didn't dare look at Tony or ask anything.

"And I thought you were just some cute, young guy I'd be with once or twice, but then you were into magic, and you were fun to talk to, and we were just so… _same_." Tony chuckled and shook his head. "And then you kissed me and you were so sweet and— _god_ , do you know how great you are?"

That time, Gob couldn't stop himself from looking up at Tony. He had no idea why he was saying all of this, but it seemed like a really cruel build up if he was just trying to let him down gently. Suddenly he felt too agitated to keep sitting, so he stood up, crossing his arms and looking at Tony as he waited to hear what he had to say.

"…Gob, I've never really dated anyone," Tony finally said. Gob looked at him with this intense look that made Tony feel even more nervous. "I mean, I've been on dates and I guess I've dated, I just...I've never been a boyfriend. Not to anyone, girl  _or_ guy. I've just been friends with benefits or I've gone out a few times…" He gave Gob a sheepish smile and admitted, "But no one's made me feel like you do, either."

After that sunk in, Gob slowly lowered his crossed arms. "What are you saying?" Gob asked quietly, hoping against all hope they were on the same page.

And just to prove that they were, Tony stood up and brought a hand to the back of Gob's head. Tony pulled him down for a kiss, standing up on his toes to try to make the position work better. 

"God, you're too fucking tall for that move to work," Tony whispered when he pulled away, a breathless laugh escaping his lips. 

Tony lowered himself off the balls of his feet and looked Gob in the eye. "Gob, I have no idea what I'm doing. This is all new to me and it fucking _terrifies_ me. It's why I wanted space and got all weird last night, I just don't know what to do. But…I  _want_ to date you. I  _want_ to be your boyfriend. I…" Tony swallowed so hard Gob could hear it as his own heartbeat started to race in his chest. 

"I think I love you," Tony finally said.

Gob just stared at Tony wordlessly. He was so sure his brain had short circuited. In less than ten minutes, he had gone from thinking Tony never wanted to see him again to Tony saying he  _loved_ him?

Huh?

What?

_How?_

The silence seemed to drag on forever and Tony finally, desperately said, "Say something.  _Please_."

Gob finally snapped out of it and brought both of his hands to Tony's cheeks. He looked him right in the eye and, knowing he couldn't even think of trying to repeat any of those words back, Gob said the only thing he could think of.

"Same."

* * *

After some more talking, and definitely some more kissing, they realized that Gob was the one with the most experience when it came to dating. After all, he had actually been a boyfriend before. And, yeah, it was to girls he didn't really care about, but that was still more than Tony could claim. 

"I totally have the upper-hand for once, don't I?" Gob said smugly, his fingers intertwined with Tony's as they sat on his bed. Tony didn't look too pleased with that. "Hey, you knew about  _Rocky_ and all the gay shit and everything. It's only fair that I get to know  _something_ , right?"

"You have Christmas, though. This is already new to me."

"But you had two things, too," Gob pointed out. Tony, pulling a Gob move, pouted a little, making Gob laugh. "You know, it's nice seeing you in my position for once."

"That better not mean you want to top me now," Tony grumbled.

"Oh,  _god_ no," Gob said, making both of them laugh.

* * *

For once, the two of them spent their time alone mostly talking. They held hands some and kissed a lot, but they didn't even try to have sex. Eventually, they got hungry enough to venture downstairs, and they held hands all the way until they reached the stairs.

Of course, once they reached the bottom of the stairs, there was some mistletoe, and they just  _had_ to take advantage. You know, once they realized there wasn't anyone around.

Now that there feelings were out in the open, though, the kiss went on even longer than the night before. In fact, neither of them seemed to want to stop until they heard a loud clearing of a throat.

Both their heads whipped around to the sound, but they relaxed when they realized it was only Michael. "Get a room," Michael said. "Preferably not one next to mine."

Gob snorted but let Michael go in between the two of them down the stairs. The two of them shared a quick peck before continuing down the stairs.

When they got downstairs, they found out that the Bluths had ordered Chinese food, since Rosa hadn't had time to cook them food to re-heat for the next day for lunch _or_ dinner. A few minutes after they got downstairs, the food arrived and they all eagerly brought it to the dinner table along with several alcoholic beverages. Each.

"Ah, now  _this_ is like Christmas at home," Tony said as they sat down at the dinner table. 

"Including the pork pot stickers?" Michael asked dryly.

"We're not always the best Jews, so, yeah, definitely just like home." He took one of the potstickers with his chopsticks and popped it in his mouth to prove the point.

They all helped themselves to the various food they had bought. Despite Gob briefly claiming the upper hand when it came to dating, Tony, once again, got to show him up by being able to work chopsticks better than he could. Gob could just never get them to work right; he normally used a fork instead of bothering to try, but Tony had given him a pair so he felt  _obligated_.

"You can just use a fork," Tony told him.

"But you're gonna make fun of me if I do, aren't you?" Gob asked.

"Well, yeah, but I'm gonna make fun of you if you don't, so you might as well actually get to eat."

Gob rolled his eyes and, after failing a couple of times to actually pick up his piece of chicken multiple times, Gob stabbed it with his chopstick instead and popped it in his mouth. "See? I can use them," Gob said.

"Oh, totally," Tony joked. The two of them laughed, briefly forgetting they weren't alone for a moment as they moved a bit closer.

"Yeah, Gob's never been great with chopsticks," Lindsay said, not even noticing they were having a moment. "Unless you mean the piano version of 'Chopsticks'."

Thankfully, that ruined the moment and they remembered that, oh yeah, they were at dinner with Gob's entire family.

"He gets his musical abilities from me," Lucille said, swishing her martini glass. "It's the one thing he got from my side of the family."

By her tone, Gob knew she meant that as an insult, but he really didn't care. Well, to be honest, he heard her say that stuff so much that he really didn't care much either way, but it was even harder to care when Tony put his hand on his knee under the table.

"I thought you seemed very musical, Mrs. Bluth," Tony said politely. "Of course, I'm sure it helps that Gob was adjusting the key to help you stay in tune, but you seemed musical nonetheless." 

Lindsay and Gob both did their best to disguise snickers as coughs. Lucille, however, just rolled her eyes and didn't respond, so Michael changed the subject to a more pleasant topic.

Gob put his hand on top of the hand Tony had placed on his knee. He gave it a small squeeze in thanks and also gave Tony a smile. Tony returned the smile and squeezed his knee in return as Gob brought his whiskey to his lips…

…And then Tony's hand ran up to palm over Gob's crotch.

Gob choked on his drink in surprise, interrupting whatever business thing his dad was talking about or whatever the hell was happening. Gob didn't know and he definitely didn't care when Tony's hand had just been cupping him in front of his whole family.

"What's the matter, Gob? Are you okay?" Tony asked innocently, hitting his back a little to try to help.

Once he caught his breath, Gob started to glare at his boyfriend, only to remember that, yes, this was his  _boyfriend_. "I'm fine," Gob said. As his dad continued talking about whatever, Gob whispered to Tony, "You better hope I don't have trouble swallowing anything tonight."

"I doubt you'll struggle anymore than usual," Tony whispered back. 

Gob rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to pout. Fine, Tony could have the upper-hand. For now.

* * *

"Did you really want to work on swallowing?" Tony asked Gob, breaking their kiss. They had all but run up to Gob's room after lunch, disrobing almost as soon as the door was locked.

"I was mostly joking," Gob admitted, "But what did you have in mind?"

Tony grinned. "Ever since last night, seeing you play the piano and everything…I haven't been able to get your fingers off my mind."

Gob raised his eyebrows. "I thought you didn't want to bottom."

"I don't." Tony smirked and suggested, "I thought maybe you could stretch yourself this time."

Gob raised his eyebrows even more. "Really? You…do you want to watch that?"

"Watch you get yourself going so I can fuck you? Stretching yourself just for me? Fucking yourself on your fingers as you think about me?" Tony asked, taking Gob's right hand. "Who wouldn't want to see that?" He lightly sucked over Gob's index finger, as he looked up at him expectantly. 

"…Well, when you put it like  _that_ …" Tony grinned and pulled off of Gob's finger with a small  _pop_. He handed Gob the bottle of lube and gave him a short kiss.

Gob poured lube onto his hand and rubbed his fingers together to warm it up, then looked behind him. Did he lay down? On his stomach? His back? He looked a bit confused and Tony, wanting to help, said, "Lay down, you can be on your back.

"Okay…it's been a while since I…I mean, you normally do this," Gob tried to explain.

Tony nodded. "I know, babe, it's fine." 

Gob did what he was told and Tony kneeled next to Gob's side. It took him a moment to figure out the best angle to go at it, but Gob soon bent his knees and brought his index finger to his rim. He circled around a few times and then slowly pressed his finger inside of himself. He slid all the way to the hilt and soon started to thrust it out and then back in.

"That's it, babe. Add another," Tony said after a few moments, his hand lightly running over Gob's hip, his other hand wrapped around his own cock as he watched. Gob did so, his eyes rolling back slightly; god he  _loved_ the slight burn that came with stretching. Without prompting, Gob started to fuck himself on his fingers, soon slipping in a third and hissing at the stretch.

"Feels good, right?" Tony asked. Gob nodded and whimpered. "God…God, you look  _so good_ fucking yourself like that…"

Gob continued to thrust his fingers in and out of himself, in and out, his pace starting to increase as he thought about how good it was going to be when Tony took over for him. He was thinking about how Tony was watching him, how he wanted to look good for him, but how it already felt so good.

"What are you thinking about? Me?" Tony asked, still stroking himself, now with even firmer strokes. Gob nodded, his fingers moving faster. "Thinking about me fucking you?" Gob nodded. "How I'm watching you fuck yourself? How you're making yourself a wreck on just your fingers? How you just need something inside of yourself to come?" Gob whined and nodded, stretching his fingers as far as he could inside of himself and moaning at the stretch. "God, you're loving this, aren't you?" Again, Gob nodded and whined, his hips rocking against his fingers.

"You want to keep doing this? Or do you want me to fuck you?" Tony asked. Gob finally opened his eyes, spread his legs, and pulled his fingers out. Tony grinned and told him, "Good boy."

Gob grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth. At Tony's look, he said, "I have some moves, too." Tony laughed and nodded, letting Gob roll the condom down his shaft and lube him up. Gob spend an extra long time stroking Tony with the lube, enjoying the feel of Tony in his hand enough that he got a bit distracted.

"Babe," Tony teased, "Do you want me to come before I'm even in you?"

"Sorry," Gob said sheepishly, moving his hand away. 

"It's okay," Tony said, leaning over to give him a peck on the nose. 

Tony leaned forward, about to thrust into him, when Gob said, "Wait." 

"Yeah?"

"It's our first time as boyfriends," Gob said. "Does that mean we have to be slow and sweet or whatever?"

"I thought you were the expert on this out of us," Tony said.

"Well, I never actually, like,  _liked_ who I dated. Definitely not, you know…I was never in  _love_ with them," Gob said bashfully.

Tony sat back a little. "…Do you  _want_ to go slow and sweet?"

Gob thought about it. "Not really, no."

"Me, neither."

"Okay, good," Gob said with a nod. Tony nodded back and, after a beat, Gob laid back down again and bent his legs.

With that as his signal, Tony crawled on top of Gob and thrust hard into him. As soon as Gob moaned, Tony had his hand there and stuck his fingers inside of them for him to suck. "Still gotta keep that mouth occupied, don't we?" Tony whispered as Gob sucked eagerly on his finger tips. Gob nodded in response as Tony kept fucking him hard. "And you  _love_ being full on both ends, don't you?" Gob whined as he sucked, just proving Tony's statement to be correct. "I know, babe. And I love that."

Both of them had already been very close by the time Tony got inside of him, Gob from fucking himself with his fingers and Tony by jacking himself off, so Tony wasn't surprised when he felt a coil start to form in his stomach. Deciding to make sure Gob was still as close as possible, Tony replaced the hand on Gob's mouth with his own, kissing him while the saliva covered hand went to stroke Gob's cock. Gob's moans were moaned by Tony's mouth, at least a little, and soon he was crying out as he came into Tony's hand, Tony's hips shuddering soon himself

After a moment, Tony pulled out of Gob and collapsed next to him. They both turned to face each other and slowly smiled at each other. 

"I love you," Gob said.

"I love you, too," Tony replied.

With that, Gob wrapped his arms around him like he always did, but this time with the knowledge that Tony was officially his boyfriend. And that made the resulting nap all the better.

* * *

There wasn't an official dinner that night. At that point, George had fallen in some drunken stupor in his room and Lucille was too drunk to really care enough about feeding her children. Everyone just found their own food and started to have more to drink. Eventually Lucille put on  _White Christmas_ , and while Tony assumed that meant they could spend some more time alone, Gob insisted they stay and watch the movie.

"It's one of my favorites," Gob said. "Please?" 

"Well, how can I say no to a face that cute?" Tony asked. Gob grinned that goofy smile Tony always caused and, when no one was around, gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

So, with drinks in hand, the two of them joined the family for the annual watch of  _White Christmas_. Gob hummed to himself throughout all the songs, laughed at all the jokes he had heard so many times, and drank and drank and drank. Tony, of course, mainly stuck with the drinking part of it, but he found himself laughing at some of the songs. After all, that ["Sisters" reprise the boys did](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE589gkOYz0) was pretty funny; even Bing Crosby couldn't keep it together.

When they sang the last round of "White Christmas", Gob, Lucille, Michael, and Lindsay had had enough to drink they were singing along loudly. It was such a nice, cheesy moment, that Tony couldn't help but sing the chorus, that even non-Christmas celebrators knew. But, you know, he sang it quietly.

"What did you think?" Gob asked Tony once the credits started to roll.

"Very cute," Tony said with a nod. He leaned in and whispered, "And the movie was cute, too."

Gob looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I was trying to say it was cute watching you watch it, but the movie was pretty cute, too," Tony said. Gob blinked a few times but then grinned that cute smile again, blushing a little.

"And now you're even cuter," Tony whispered, nudging him slightly.

" _Stooop_!" Gob whined quietly, blushing even more. Tony nudged him again but let it drop; he knew he couldn't do anything with Lucille still in the room.

After a moment, Tony asked the room, "Any chance there's more of that spiked cider you mentioned yesterday?"

"Oh fuck yeah," Lindsay said. "That's the best part of Christmas."

* * *

It only took two rounds of spiked cider each before Lucille finally passed out on the couch and Buster ran up to his room. "Well, I guess we should head upstairs, too," Gob said. Tony agreed and the two of them managed to stand up, but Lindsay frowned at them.

"But there's still an hour left of Christmas! We always keep drinking until Christmas is over!" Lindsay looked at her brother with a pout. "How lame can you be?"

Tony and Gob looked at each other and then back at Lindsay. 

"Well, I'd like to spend the last hours of Christmas getting fucked by my Christmas present instead," Gob said simply. 

"And I'd like to fuck mine," Tony said in response.

Lindsay blinked a few times before it finally clicked. "Wait? The plan worked? Really?"

"Well, Michael made it happen, I guess, but, yeah, it ended up working," Tony said.

"And it was the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten, so thanks," Gob said.

"Yes, thank you. And it's my best Christmas gift ever, too," Tony said. "Of course, it's the only one I've ever gotten, but it's been better than any Hanukkah gift I've ever gotten."

"Awww!" Lindsay cooed. "I'm so glad it worked!"

"Yeah…anyways, I'm gonna have sex with my boyfriend," Gob said. "Goodnight." And, before Lindsay could say anything else, Gob took Tony's hand and they quickly stumbled their way up the stairs.

"Merry Christmas, Gob," Tony told Gob later that night.

"Happy Anniversary, Tony," Gob told him with a laugh.

Tony laughed as well. "At least that's an easy date to remember."

And, much like how Gob spent the early hours of the 21st in bed with Tony instead of drinking, Gob surprisingly spent the last few hours of Christmas doing the same thing. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who actually reads this! I know it's super late, seeing as I'm posting it at night on the 25th EST. I started working on this a few weeks back, but writers block plus flying across the country and my sister's wedding really hindered my progress. It's not as good as I hoped, but I hope you at least enjoyed the smut and the idea of these two dummies trying to figure out their feelings!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all of that jazz!! <3


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